Procrastinating. This is what I am doing by blogging. I am avoiding writing a ten-page paper on a Saturday night. Can you blame me? However, I realized I haven't blogged since January 30th! But then again, how did May get here so fast?! So I am going to update you on my life picking up from the BIG RACE...

• I completed my first half-marathon and survived it enough to want to do another one! My roommate and I are thinking about running one next fall and finding a beautiful location maybe out of town. I am still running, but not nearly as much as I would like.


• I became a true Californian. I went to the beach one Saturday afternoon and went to the snowy mountains the NEXT day. Yes, this is THE perk of living in So Cal.


• I absolutely love my job! I am one of those few people in life that actually love there 8 to 5 J-O-B. Most days, I am bogged down in details, emails, excel spreadsheets, and solving problems and in doing those administrative tasks it is easy for me to forget the big pictures. It is through the logistics of my job that over 350 students have the opporutunity to be trained and serve God overseas! And man I want to give my life for the task of seeing people come to Christ. Yesterday, was one of those days at work where I was able to literally see the big picture of what God is doing through my title at "International Service Projects Coordinator." We had a commissioning service at CBU for our 31 teams that we are sending overseas (about 350 students). I was personally blessed and moved by the intimate prayer and worship time with my own team going to East Asia this summer. I still can't believe that God allows me to be a part of his work in some of the most unreached places. It baffles my small Alicia brain. I am so inadequate but He delights in my service somehow my service brings Him glory. We also put on this awesome "Night of Nations" where all the teams performed skits sharing what they were doing this summer. We had about 800 people show up and it was a reminder of the hope we get to bring to these 21 different countries this summer!! God, why do you allow me to be a part of this task?!!!


• I took four classes this semester in graduate school. I would say that they have been keeping me busy. This semester has honestly been a huge struggle for me academically. I haven't fallen in love with seminary yet. And honestly, I haven't loved my profs or classes. This is about 80% my problem not theirs. I could be honest and say that I have just been going to classes to get a piece of paper and not for the pure joy of learning. UGH. I am not sure how to get out of this funk, but this is kind of where I am.
• I spent a majority of this semester being distracted by a tall, dark, and handsome man. It's amazing how men can hijack your brain. For the past year, I have been casually getting to know and develop a friendship with a man and this semester we actually made it official. Unfortunately, all of that intentionality was in vain and it looks as though the door to that relationship is closed. I can be honest and say that I am still praying through what the purpose of all of that was and honestly might not ever know. Somewhere along the way we have made relationships so complicated, but I guess when you have two independent lives coming together along with two imperfect people you can't help but expect difficultly. Even Paul says in I Corinthians to expect trouble in relationships. But then through this relationship, I was also reminded of the beauty of God's biblical model of relationships. Even though they are complicated and messy, there is great beauty in being committed to someone- two is better than one- having a ministry partner for life! I love the idea of one day NOT having to say goodbye to someone in my life (my life for the past 4 years), someone to dream the impossible with, someone to sharpen me and keep me accountable to the Word, someone to laugh with, someone that you just enjoy being with and living life with, but most importantly someone that we can both look back at our lives together and know that we were faithful to the task and that hopefully our lives brought Christ glory. I have honestly really been struggling with the Lord with lots of questions of why... but that just reveals where my heart is...this is the first time in my life where I want my own will more than His and that scares me. So I am praying that God will continue to show me how to trust Him...God, please increase my trust in you. The best thing I would say I gained from this relationship was that I experienced my first non-dysfunctional relationship and man it was sooo fun!
• I dyed my hair almost black. It has been a fun change mostly because people say I look like a different person and because I get a lot more compliments on my tan and blue eyes...who knew? It makes me giggle. The also humorous thing is that my bangs got completely botched in the haircutting process and it has been a funny joke with me and my roommates. Lets just say they have been pinned back for the past 3 weeks and might be for a couple more!
• I have really awesome roommates. They are my family. They are there to rejoice with me in my victories, to love me when I am unlovable, to pep me up when I need it, and to be just what I need when I need it. Being single and 25 is honestly hard some days, but God has been unbelievable in sending me sisters in Christ to share life with!


• I changed churches again. I am back at Sandals and am soo excited about my choice. I really missed the people and community of Sandals. The people who make California my home all attend Sandals and I found myself needing that community again! So I am back and soo excited about joining my small group. There is an awesome small group of married couples and singles my age that all have a heart to be overseas, love living life, and have amazing hearts for the Lord. I am stoked to join this group very very soon...



• I am going home in May to see my family!! It is my mom's 50th birthday and my cousin Chris is getting married!! I can't wait to see them... I hate that they are soo far away, but it makes being together so much better!
  

6793- Surf City Marathon

The day has finally come and I will be running my Half Marathon at the Surf City Marathon! 13.1 miles here I come!! After 18 weeks of training I would say that I feel prepared and ready to tackle Sunday morning. Training for this marathon has been an enjoyable experience. I have come a long way. I remember my first long run of 4 miles that I wanted to cry because I seriously think I was the last one to finish. I felt like such a failure and that I sucked at running and at that moment in time that I sucked at life. But here I am months later and my last long run last week of 9 miles was easy and I can honestly say enjoyable. Like I said I have come a long way!! 6793 is my bib number that I will get to proudly display while running.

I am sure there is some great lesson or parallel to my life and training for this marathon, but I will save that to ponder on my nice long run on Saturday.

There is about 15-20 of us from CBU that are running (along with my roomie) on Sunday morning. So please keep us in your prayers- we would all really appreciate that!! Most of my friends are running the full 26.2 and are pretty nervous (as they should be!) Pray that our bodies will be safe and recover quickly!!

I will hopefully get to post some fun pictures after Sunday!

Plans- Do I plan to move overseas again?

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 I can't help but chuckle to myself when I read this verse. During my four years of education at Dallas Baptist University, I must have had this verse read to me literally 1,000 times! I hate it when something you love becomes common place because it loses it's meaning. However, this verse holds such amazing truth for our lives. Me being the planner that I am, this verse holds a lot of truth and hope. God put this verse in the Bible for all of us planners out there...you know who you are. Because I am a planner, it is comforting to know first of all that God has a plan and second that His plan is always prosperous and beneficial for me- if I truly submit myself to Him. I am reminded however, that His idea of success and the worlds idea of success are not one in the same.

I have a lot of people ask me if I PLAN to move overseas again one day. Such a great question... but a hard one to answer. There are days when the thought of living overseas again sounds too hard and too difficult. It literally makes me want to throw-up in my mouth. I have been there and done that and I know EXACTLY what I would be getting myself into. As I settle into my comfortable life here in Southern California, my short-lived life overseas almost seems like a dream and a little unbelievable. These days it has been easy for me to want the American dream. I was reminded of the enticing nature of the world's success while I was in Texas. I had the opportunity to visit my cousin Angela (who is only 4 weeks older than me) in Austin along with her 3 bedroom, newly painted, and beautiful house. I couldn't help but want exactly what she had- the husband, brand new car, new house, and 2 dogs (except i would want kittens). She seemed to have what everyone wants and was doing it in style. That day, all I wanted was the perfect life in America. After all, all my peers around me would think I was living a meaningful life- especially if I had a great personal ministry.

However, also while in Texas, I was reading a book called "The Heavenly Man" which is the life-story a Chinese Christian brother Yun living out the beauty and hardship of the gospel. His life is anything but glamorous, yet I found myself longing for his life. Brother Yun is one of the leading church planters in China. To this day, he lives in Germany because he is one of the most wanted criminals (for sharing the gospel) in all of China and if he returned he would be executed. This book portrays Yun's life of utter physical destitution, but the author then beautifully contrasts the depths of spiritual riches He has in Jesus Christ. His life is filled with hunger, lack of clothing, separation from his family because of being imprisoned, hiding, loneliness, despair, and inhumane treatment. But his life is also filled with God's miraculous provision, visions from the Lord, miracles, supernatural prison escapes, and most importantly a deep intimate relationship with Jesus that satisfies. He knew Jesus and felt His presence in a way that I would give my right arm for. So many times throughout reading this book, I found myself in tears because of the beauty of God's presence and provision to His people. I experienced a taste of this while living in India and have longed for it to return since moving back. Today, I LONG for the presence of Christ and ministry like I had in India. Life overseas is nothing but hardship and sacrifice. But isn't that what Jesus' life was like here on earth? The purpose of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection is NOT for me to live comfortably, but to give my life for the sake and glory of Jesus Christ among all peoples.

So all of that to say this: The thought of moving overseas long-term scares the hell out of me because I know what it takes. However, living my life for myself and my own vain existence scares the hell out of me even more. I don't know exactly what God is doing in and through me right now at CBU, but I know that every future life decision I make will be filtered through a global lens: how does this job, or this education, or this or that impact the spreading of the gospel to the nations. I hope that God sends me back overseas, but I honestly don't know what His plans are for me. I am open to wherever God would have me serve. Please pray against the allurement of the things of this world, but that I would live as a true foreigner longing for my time to go home!

So here are some practical things of what I am doing to get my butt overseas until God directs me differently:
1. I am enrolling in the Global Studies program at Golden Gate in the fall. I will before pursuing a Masters in Intercultural Studies.
2. I recently gained some financial accountability and guidance to start paying down my credit card debt and eventually school loans. I don't want money to be a reason why I can't serve overseas.

I pray God allows me to go back and serve, but we will see what His plans are. I know his plans are to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future!

*I should clarify that I don't think having a husband, house, and dog is ungodly or wrong. It just can't be my life goal. I didn't want to offend anyone!

2008 Reflection

I absolutely love the New Year holiday. I love staying up late just for the purpose of counting down the last seconds of the current year and bringing in the New Year with great celebration fireworks, and sometimes singing!! I love reflecting on the past year and recognizing the experiences God has brought me through- the valleys and the mountain tops. One of my most memorable New Years was in Singapore 2006. Me and my best friends sat on the kitchen floor with grape juice and shared the high and lows of the year. It was such a refreshing time of seeing God's faithfulness through our time of overseas.

My friend Kelley blogged asking, "What was the single best thing that happened this past year? There were lots of great things that happened in 2008-

• Julie and Lindsey visiting me
• Golden Gate Missions Conference
• Julie getting married
• Leading a team of CBU students to Munich, Germany
• Returning to India and seeing my Indian family there!
• Moving in with my roommates: Sarah and Becka
• Starting seminary classes at Golden Gate
• I became a runner and actually love it

But the greatest thing that happened to me in 2008 was getting hired to work and do ministry at California Baptist University. God allowed me to start putting down some roots and gave me a specific community, global ministry, and life in California! God is Good!!

*just some of my cali community

I have just about finished my 2009 Resolutions... Here's a few:

• A guy that's fine and mine in 2009 (gotta stick with rhymed guy theme- my date in 08 worked last- why stop a good thing?)
• Getting on a budget
• Run my half-marathon
• Be Soda free in 2009 (trying again this year)
• Start the Global Studies Program at Golden Gate in the fall
• Start a mentoring groups at CBU
• and many many more..... :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Christmas as a child is always magical. You wake up Christmas morning to a tree full of colorful handpicked gifts just for you! There is always home-cooked foods and most importantly sprinkles, cookies, icing, chocolate, and all sorts of Christmas sweet deliciousness. Another great thing about Christmas growing up is family. I come from a pretty big family with lots of cousins. The best thing about having lots of cousins is that we were all really close in age - so it is like having extended siblings. Most holidays were spent on our huge acreage in the country playing football, baseball, jumping on the trampoline, or playing house with my sisters. We definitely always got stuck at the kids tables together- my boy cousins would always burp and be disgusting and never let the girls go first in line. We always asked them to be gentlemen, but it wasn't ever going to happened.

Holidays change over time. It is unfortunate that all of us kids are now no longer kids- we are adults. We all moved to different places for school, some of us have gotten married, and some of us are too broke to come home. The transition of growing up is a little wierd. Most holidays are quiet and make me missing the good ol' days of childhood.

This year I felt a little bit of Christmas redemption. This Christmas was my favorite Christmas in years. I had a house full of family for 5 days straight with little kids filling the air with laughter, screaming, and Christmas excitement. This was also the first Christmas that all of my family (parents and sisters) were together in 4 years. The quality time with my extended family was wonderful. I soaked in each moment and understood the beauty and rarity of this Christmas. It makes me get excited for the day when my sisters and I are married and start having our own little kiddoes! But until then.... I am going to treasure the time with family that I do have! God has truly blessed me with awesome family and I am so thankful for the time I had with them this Christmas

My Grown-up cousins (at least half of them)...I guess we still act childish.

Go Spurs Go! My family went to a Spurs game.

I'll be home for Christmas

I have to work on Monday, but then I will be hopping on a plane and flying to Texas for almost 2 full weeks! Glorious. These are the things I am most looking forward to about my time in Texas.

1. Hugging my dad and sitting in his lap.
2. Running with my sister Amber.
3. Shopping with my mom and having some good quality time.
4. Drinking coffee with my daddy while having deep theological and philosophical conversations in his study.
5. Going to the Spurs games the Saturday after Christmas with my WHOLE family.
6. Seeing my cousin Angela's new house.
7. Watching lots of movies with the fam.
8. Holiding my cat and having him sleep with me.
9. Eating Loredo Lasagne with the Alves family.
10. Spending Christmas in San Antonio with my Dad's side of the family from Dallas.
11. Kissing, hugging, and playing with my little cousins.
12. Gazing at the stars in the hill country.
13. Shopping at Super Target and all the other awesome shopping places.
14. Seeing the Riverwalk at Christmastime.
15. kssssssssssssing my sister shanny.
16. Spending quality time with the grandparents.

God Bless Texas!

Running

Today I went for a nice 7.5 mile run. I think one of my favorite things about this past semester has been running. Life this semester has been pretty intense with having a 40 hour a week job and doing full-time classes. My job also seems to steal all of my mental brain power. I struggle to find time for my own thoughts and sometimes for my own life. Running is the only time of the week that I have time to think. I have come to really enjoy my long runs because I get to escape from the busyness of life and actually have time by MYSELF to think. Tonight as I was running everything was so beautiful- my typical running route is a tree-shaded lane that is framed by the classic California palm trees. If you look far into the distance you can see the snow-capped mountains. It is a beautiful run and the weather tonight was PERFECT. I found myself thinking about New Years resolutions, life goals, relationships, and who the Lord is to me right now. I always feel like a new person after running. I feel refreshed and motivated. I have decided it is my favorite introverted thing to do! I used to really like to run with people but now I LOVE running by myself (meaning not talking to anyone) Because, I do run with Becka, but she runs fast than me and is usually about 2 minutes ahead of me. She is my source of encouragement for those long runs...we usually high 5 at lights and stop signs. So we run together but separate which is PERFECT in my Alicia world. So anyways... As I was running to night I was thinking about how much I was enjoying my run and thought out this entire blog entry in my mind. So here it is...

Tagged- 8 Things about Me

My FBC Irving friend Amanda tagged me! Amanda is my college pastor's wife and one of my biggest encouragers. She is a faithful friend and she has a really awesome family. Her husband will be speaking at CBU's chapel in the spring!! I am happy with the thought of having a little bit of Texas in California. So she tagged me and I will oblige her as well.

8 Shows I Watch:

1. Chuck
2. Hero's
3. Prison Break
4. Grey's Anatomy
5. Private Practice
6. Friends
7. Law & Order
8. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Favorite Restaraunts: ( I honestly don't eat out much)

1. Indian Food - Not Just Paranthas
2. Cheesecake Factory
3. Olive Garden
4. Chilli's
5. Thai Food (Thai Bay Cafe is delish)
6. PF Chang
7. Papasitas
8. Cracker Barrel

8 Things that Happened to Me today:

1. The electricity went out at work today ( my co-worker got stuck in the elevator for an hour because of it)
2. I had a 2 hour staff meeting.
3. I ate chinese food with some of my best friends for dinner.
4. I waited in line for like 20 minutes at the bank today to deposit some checks during my lunch break
5. I actually left work promptly at 5 today!
6. I drank delicious sweet tea from Chick-fil-A.
7. I wore polka dotted socks today
8. Took an official break at work today for almost an hour.

8 Things I look forward to:

1. Going home to be in Texas in just 6 days!
2. Going to the Spurs game on December 27th
3. Spending Christmas with my entire family
4. Getting to know my East Asia team and going to East Asia with them.
5. Getting out of debt
6. Having my first kiss
7. Graduating from graduate school
8. Moving overseas

8 Things I wish for:

1. Someone to miraculously pay all my debt- be debt free
2. world peace :)
3. Lifelong free airlines to wherever I want to go- whenever I want to go
4. To spend a week with all my journeyman friend in an exotic country like the old days
5. To spend a week with my college roommates having quality girl time
6. To have my parents and sisters live in the same city as me
7. Be really really awesome at my job and be the queen of details and logistics
8. To be able to drop it like it's hot.

8 People I tag:

1. Roommate- Sarah
2. Roommate - Becks
3. Kim Ji
4. Andrea
5. Emily
6. Amber
7. Shannon
8. Adam Cook

New Year's Resolutions for 2008

I am a New Year's Resolution kind of girl. I think it's because I like goals and I like to challenge myself. Some people say I am intense because of this. I would believe them if I was a little more hard core about actually following through. So I have been thinking through what I want my New Year's Resolutions to be for 2009. But I thought it would be fun to see how I did last year. I had 3 categories: health, spiritual, & personal.

Physical 2008:
1. I wanted to lose weight- COMPLETE. I didn't lose as much as I wanted but i lost some and I like where I am. So that's accomplishment enough.
2. I wanted to run 15-20 miles a week. Ok- first of all... what was I thinking? But I have been training for half marathon...so I am going to say COMPLETE!

Spiritual 2008:
1. Wanted to be more consistent in the Word and in Prayer- LIFE LONG RESOLUTION
2. Fast for South Asia- lame- didn't accomplish this. I wish i would've. I bet my fellow brothers and sisters who are suffering there wish i would've too.

Personal 2009:
1. I want to start cooking in my apartment most nights- Nope...hasn't happened. Wait- when am I home to cook on weeknights? ha ha.
2. I want to be Soda Free in 2008- I made it to May 2008- then I went to Germany and have been soda naughty since then.
3. I want to make my bed daily- COMPLETE.
4. I never want to go to bed without doing the dishes- COMPLETE. I now have Becka- my roommate- and she rocks at doing the dishes!!
5. Less facebook time- NOPE
6. I want to read a book a month at least- NOPE
7. I want to look into graduate programs and figure out where my life is going- COMPLETE.
Full-time job and just completed my first semester of my Masters program.
8. A DATE in 2008! COMPLETE.

It's interesting that I FAILED in the spiritual category. What to do? I would say not too bad on my resolutions. I met some of them! I am having fun brainstorming what I want my resolutions to be for 2009.

The Highlights

It is obvious that my communication skills have really suffered these days...so to catch up with world wide web on my life I thought I would give bullet pointed highlights of my life recently.... ( i am all about the bullet points these days!)

• I have cash flow!
• I finally got hired at Cal Baptiste University as International Service Project Coordinator (my first professional full-time staff job).
• My Job is sooo wonderful and my co-workers even more wonderful!
• I went to a Spurs Game at the Staples Center in LA. Spurs Won! Go SPURS GO!


• I am still training for my half-marathon. I ran 10 miles this morning... the furtherest I have ever run in my life (Alicia Life Record- ALR).
• Went to Disneyland opening night for the Christmas season with the roomies, kyle, sam, and crazy andrew. The fireworks show was definitely magical ( I don't have the pic of all of us cause it's on Sarah's camera).

• I get to love on Baby Imai. He is my nephew here in So Cal...and the cutest Asian Kid alive.

• 

• My graduate classes are almost finished for the semester. Just papers left!

• I am going home for Christmas for almost 2 weeks!!

• I am going to East Asia this summer with 9 other CBU students!

• I think those are all the highlights.... PEACE OUT!

California Party & Ethan's 22 Years of Life

So my awesome roommates decided to throw me a party to celebrate my OFFICIAL california residency AND the fact that I finally did get hired at CBUT (man there was a lot of waiting and a need to CELEBRATE). The day we planned it also happened to be on Ethan's (co-worker & seminary buddy) Birthday! So we decided to share our thunder and celebrate together!!!
Ethan and I both felt very loved by our CBU community/family. It really is the people that make this place and man everyone was ready to come and CELEBRATE!! This is what the body of Christ is for .... celebrating life and accomplishments ...and that is what we did!!



Some of the highlights of the party:-
- The California themed food
- Four men on a Couch
- Cool fall weather
- The California music mix
- The OSU/Missouri football game
- The In-n-Out french fries (for Hillary and Tessa)

-The blueberry birthday pie
- Apples to Apples
- And all the awesome people that came!!!

This picture is a bonus cause it just makes my heart so happy!!

International Service Projects Coordinator

After 3 years and 5 months of successfully avoiding the 8-5 job, Monday, I will be JOYFULLY embracing the 8-5 job! On Friday, California Baptist University offered me a full-time staff position in the Office of Global Mobilization!! Thank you for all of you who have prayed for me, asked about my job, and provided huge amounts of support and love!

I have spent a lot of time this past week and weekend reflecting on the journey God put me on to get me to California. The only words that come to mind are completely insufficient to accurately describe who God has been to me in this journey. But I declare to you that God is FAITHFUL, God is GREATER than any situation, and He is PROVIDER. God has been pursuing me to come to California since the day I started my journeyman term. And even in this time of waiting, God called me to walk in Faith and wait for the job. When surveying my life and God's plans it honestly seemed more ridiculous NOT to trust him. I am not surprised right now as I type that God was faithful to give me the job he told me I had, but I am that much more in love with my God who persistently PURSUES my future, is FULLY trustworthy, and cannot help but be FAITHFUL to His daughter.

Not come across at too spiritual, but I cannot post about my job and my excitement without declaring praises for WHAT HE DID. So my joy and excitement for this job is fully HIM and want to say...PRAISE THE LORD. If I was David in the Bible- then this is where I would insert my awesome sonnet, or song, or long stanzas of poetry BUT it's just me...so I hope this post will do!

SELAH.

Roommate Blogs

You guys need to keep up with my roomies and their blogs. I really enjoy their blogs and it will give you insight into the roomies in my life!!
Becka- http://wwwbecks.blogspot.com/
Sarah- http://sarahgonzalez.wordpress.com/

Marathon Week Training #1-

I decided to keep up with my running and thoughts on my marathon training on this here blog. I am not sure if anyone still reads it, but mostly these marathon entries will be for me and my ability to debrief my weekly marathon progress.

WHY- Every week I will choose one word to describe my weekly running experience. This week the word is "why". All week I thought... "why, I am I doing this?"... "why are my muscles so sore?"... "why do i suck so bad at running?"... and "why the heck do i want to run a marathon?" I think the answer to why is- running is hard- especially when you first start. I am reminded from past running experience that this too shall pass.

Saturdays is when we will do our long runs. For this first week the long run is only 4 miles. I actually think that running this marathon is going to be a spiritual journey for me. While living in India, I learned something about myself that I am not proud of. If I think that I am not good at something, I will not do it. I am afraid of failure. I only like to do things that I know I am good at and that I will succeed at. I am running this marathon scared to death that I will fail at it. I know that I am not a runner. But I can't let my fear of failure keep me from attempting great things like running marathons. So today, as I sucked at running (even for my record) and finished almost last, I was reminded to swallow my pride and remember that it is just the first week of running. There is another week of training and getting in shape and conquering those 4 miles with grace. So here's me saying, me running this marathon is going to be a little bit of a spiritual victory of sorts and to prove to myself that I don't have to be perfect at everything and its okay to learn and suck when you first start.

So that is where I am right now in my marathon mindset. I am laughing to myself cause I sound like a debbie downer, but I needed to process of that out loud and let you know where I am at. I need to sometimes swallow my pride and not always be so hard on myself. Thanks for those of you who care and read this. I am excited about giving my muscles some time off tomorrow, but I hit the pavement again on Monday for week 2 of 18.

Peace out A town.

Surf City Marathon

I have decided that I am going to train for the Surf City Marathon. You must know that I have NEVER trained for any type of marathon before. This is a big stretch for me. However, there is a large group of people from CBU that are running the marathon in COMMUNITY! YESSSSS!! This is how I roll. I could NEVER run a marathon on my own, but with a group of others to do it with...I am game. Starting this Monday, for the next 18 weeks I will be training for 26.2 miles!! Yikes. I do have to admit that I am a little nervous about it, but also really excited. The fun thing about this marathon is that I am running alongside the beach AND you get an awesome surf board metal when you finish!! I think this is definitely the way to go!! It is a life goal of mine to run a marathon...so here's to attempting a life goal!! Pray for me friends.

Back from the Dead

I have had several requests lately that I should blog. I haven't been intentionally NOT blogging, I just haven't been in the mood. Actually, I would say that for most part communication and me have sucked. Sorry for all of you out there that I haven't commented on your blog, responded to your email, or called you on the phone. I am thinking that I will soon get out of this communication funk and be the natural and loyal communicator that I am! So this blog entry will commemorate me bringing communication back. I should also state as a disclaimer that this could be a long post. Where to begin....????

First of all, I became an official California resident. It was a bittersweet day when I took my car down to the California DMV and got new plates and a new license. I would like to say, that my Texas plates will be proudly displayed...somewhere...just not sure where yet.


I also have my own apartment! I absolutely love it, but most importantly I love my roommates. I don't think I realized how lonely I was last year. It has been awesome to live in community again with some godly woman who are also single professionals! I also love my apartment because I can have people over WHICH I LOVE!! I have been able to have a few parties and every time my little Alicia heart has been soo very happy. I posted pictures for my non-Cali friends. The curtains and pillows were my only addition to the deco, but I did bargain for them in Sorjoni Nagar Market in India. They are Pier One, yet I got them for a ghetto Indian price.



I started graduate school this semester. After three years of being OUT OF SCHOOL I am back in! I have to agree it has been a little rough getting back into it all, BUT I am slowly getting into the swing of things. I am going to Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary at their Southern Extension Campu in Orange County. Right now, I am going for my Masters of Theological Studies. Because I served as a Journeyman, my first 24 units of my degree is FREE! God is Good. I also have seminary buddies (Ethan, Charlie, Aura, and Corrie)! It has been so fun commuting with them and taking classes together! I am thankful to not be taking classes alone. Classes have been keeping me pretty busy because I have class Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night!

I am currently unemployed...STILL. My employment with the IMB ended on July 31st and I have been hoping to get hired at CBU. The hope is not lost, but I am still waiting. Overall, my unemployment experience has been very positive considering there is no cash flow. God has provided financially for me in amazing ways. It wasn't until just this week that I am feeling the financial crunch (which I am excited to see how He will continue to provide). I have had some key people in my life here give me money which has been amazing!! God is really teaching me what it means to me that He is Provider. And not just a financial provider, but the one who provides in all areas and all needs in my life. When I was praying about taking this job, I knew that God was calling me to a season of walking in faith and expressing my faith. So here I am still waiting and hoping that I am expressing God's faithfulness in my life. I have been totally blessed and loved by the CBU community...I definitely have a lot of fans there that want to see me hired and I have been blown away by the favor God has given me at CBU. I still feel called to Riverside and am still anticipating what God has for me in this place! I am just hoping that I am honoring God in this season of waiting! In the meantime, I have been volunteering ALOT of my time at CBU. This is a picture of most of the staff that I will hopefully be working for.


Well that is a brief update of my life these days. There is still a lot ot say, but I hope you guys feel more caught up!! I will try to be better at communicating in the upcoming days. If I could some up how I am doing these days...I would just stay, "God is Greater". He is greater than uncertainty and unemployment! And honestly, God is so good in my life...I have nothing to complain about!! I love the season that God has me in right now!

Goodbye College Housing

My days of living on a college campus have finally come to an end. Believe it or not, it has been seven years since I moved out of my parents house. Of those seven years, I have lived five of them on a college campus. DBU's and CBU's campuses have served me well, but needless to say... it is time to move on. As I move on, I will not be moving far, but just 2 miles down the road on Van Buren to Canyon Park Apartments.

Sarah & Becka will be my new roomies in our two bedroom/two bathroom 1st floor apartment! I met Sarah & Becka through my friends Kim & Lindsey. They are both CBU alumni, teachers, missions minded, and single. I can honestly say that I don't know these ladies all that well, but I am very hopeful about the future sisterhood and community we will have.

We love having people over and we hope that it will be a place God chooses to bless others with! Be ready for an invite and if you are ever in Southern Cal you are more than welcome to stop by!

Sarah, Becka, and I at Disneyland at Christmas! This was my first time to ever hang out with them and at the time didn't know they would be my future roomies.

Here we are at Lindsey's wedding just last month!

Oh the Places You Will Go...

While in India, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my past 3 years as a Journeyman. When I started applying almost 4 years ago I had NO IDEA what God had in store!! I have literally been all over the globe. I thought it would be interesting to track all the places God took me in this journey. These places have pieces of my heart and are definitely instrumental in shaping who I am today. The Alicia that left Dallas, Texas 3 years ago is a different Alicia that writes this blog entry today and resides in California. God has changed me. He has intensified the desires in my heart to see the nations come to worship Him for all eternity. He has given me friendships all over the world. Many who are a part of the family of God and some who I am still praying to be welcomed into the family. I can look back at the end of my journey and all I can express is gratitude to the Father that He loved me enough to pull me out of my simple life in Texas and give me the HONOR of being a part of His work in India. What a sweet gift it was. One day there WILL BE a great movement of Christ in North India and I am honored that I was asked to be a part. I am more determined now, than ever before, that being on journey with God through pursuing a missional life is the only way to truly live. May He continue to grant me favor as I seek a life of faithfulness.

Richmond, Virginia
January 2005 – Screening Conference
August-October 2005- FPO
September 2007 (twice) – Debriefing & J3 Training
January 2008- J3 training

Washington, DC-
September 2005- FPO field trip

Concord, Mississippi
October 2005- Commissioning Service for J-man term

Delhi, Shimla, Chandigarh, Manali, India
October 2005-August 2007
June-July 2008

Chiang Mai, Thailand
December/January 2005 & Brought in the new year- Visa Run
June/July 2006- AGM
December/January 2006- Visa run
June/July 2006- AGM

Pattaya, Thailand
January 2006- Edge Retreat

Bangkok, Thailand
January 2006- vacation

Singapore
December 2006- Brought in the New Year (2007) and vacation with Chesed & Julie

Seoul, Peoungtaek, and Sangtan South Korea
July 2006- visiting Amber
August 2007- visiting Amber

North Korean Border
August 2007- vacation

Kuala, Lumpur Malaysia
July 2007- vacation

Bali, Indonesia
July 2007- vacation

Greenville, South Carolina
September 2007- J3 training

Riverside, California
October 2007- present-J3 job

San Francisco, California
February 2008- Golden Gate Conference

Mexico
February 2008- work trip

Munich, Germany
May 2008- ISP

Salzburg, Austria
May 2008- ISP

Amnebad, India
July 2008

11 new countries & 24 new cities

Freckles

Has anyone ever noticed that I have freckles? I would say that one distinguishing characteristic about myself is that I have freckles. I have always liked my freckles. Since I was a little girl, I have always had people making comments about my freckles. There was this one old man named Phil who I used to work with that incessantly commented on my freckles. Every conversation we had was revolved around my freckles. It always humored me. When it would rain he would even say, "It looks like the rain hasn't washed them away." I used to kind of roll my eyes. But in all honesty, I love my freckles and am thankful that God made me to have them!
HOWEVER, Indians don't understand them at all! They see freckles as an intrusion on perfect fair skin. You see, Indians want fair skin and are always bleaching their skin to be whiter. On two separate occasions, once in Riverside and once yesterday, I had an Indian woman look at my face very closely and say, "What happened?" And I of course replied with, "What do you mean?" They said, "You have BURN MARKS on your face." I then replied, "Oh, those aren't burn marks...they are freckles!" They then say, "Oh. pause. Is there medicine you can take?" I then try to tell them it's normal and nothing is wrong. They look at me like I obviously don't know what i am talking about. Apparently my freckles are a very bad medical condition! Sad. I happen to like my freckles...even if Indians find them to be a skin problem!

This was quite the random post, but it was on my mind so I thought I would blog about it!

Breaking News!

My sister Amber moved back to America!! Amber has been faithfully serving in South Korea as a high school math teacher in an International Christian School!! But she has decided to try something new and will be moving to Missouri! I wish that it was either Texas or California, but at least our whole family is in the same country and almost the same time zone! Amber will be moving to Missouri in August to pursue a year of intense discipleship with a program called Lead Time which is based out of Branson. She will spend her days in classes and her evening pouring into the lives of troubled youth.

Amber, I am glad to have you back on this side of the earth with me again. See you in a month!

Impact

Yesterday, I had the joy of going back to Deepa's house. Deepa lives in a low-income community or slum area only about 10 minutes from where I used to live. I spent most of the last year of my term catching rickshaws to and from her house. The road to her house is very eroded which always made for an incredibly bumpy ride and it's pretty ghetto; therefore, we got lots of stares. What was at one time incredibly awkward and uncomfortable became commonplace. Eventually the community just came to know us as the white girls that came to visit. That didn't mean they stared less, but I didn't feel quite so misplaced. There is also some ownership in a community when you are walking down their overcrowded markets hand in hand with an Indian friend...or more appropriately.... Indian family. I love what that communicates... yes, I am white and I look different BUT I genuinely love your people too.

It was so wonderful being in Deepa's home today. When I stepped out of the rickshaw, I was greeted by Deepa who hugged me for literally one minute. She didn't let go. Love tank filled. Then she had me sit down and she laid at my feet and just stared at me. It was soo awkward! This went on for about 15 minutes...I would talk and she said she didn't hear what I was saying because she was just staring at me.

I have been thinking a lot about the huge impact I personally had in the lives of Mona & Erica and Deepa's family and community. The impact I made what NOT because I am great, but because God's love is deep and satisfying. I walked into Mona's house and on the wall hanging was the cross my family left for her. On the coffee table was the photo album Lindsey and I had made for their family before we left. It was weird to see such a visible presence of my time there. In Deepa's house still remains the family portrait of my family and Lindsey's family. There were all these physical reminders of my time there. But even more are the memories. So many memories were exchanged in our short visits. I know that I am not great, but what made the impact was their encounter with the LIVING GOD. God inhabits his people. There were so many prayers, conversations, tears, and laughs that were covered in the presence of Christ. So when I come back and visit I am reminded of the beauty of Christ in this place. I am thankful that God allowed me to be a visible and tangible presence of who He is.

Deepa is a believer and hungry. Mona however is still seeking and searching. Pray for my time here as I have opportunity to disciple Deepa and opportunity to share the gospel with Mona! Mona and I are really close and I really feel like there are some great spiritual conversations ahead of us!! Please pray!!

A Texan meets California and California meets India

One of the highlights of my trip to India this time is the fellowship I have had with the "South Asia B" ISP team!! It was fun to send the CBU students off at the globe in Riverside and know that I would eventually see them on the other side of the world. I have spent the last several days with these students and it has been so great! It's soo fun when your worlds collide. Here are some fun pics for you Riverside readers. They are not headed your way....

Julie & I on a cycle rickshaw in Chandi Chowk.

More fun pics in the heart of the city.

The India ISP team! Love you guys!

India...my true love

Well the rumors are true....I am in India!! I arrived here late Wednesday night and all I have to say is.... "it feels good to be home." I do have to admit, the first night I came in I thought to myself...oh yeah...it's HOT, humid, smelly, and I can't breathe. For just a few hours I kind of hated the place. But then I woke up, got myself a rickshaw, and then I became a little giddy! It has been soo much fun being back. It's weird. A different part of me has become alive again. This place and these people encompass so many tender memories and a place of growth for me!! So needless to say.... I couldn't be happier than if I was any other place this summer!!!

I have spent lots of time since I have been here just hanging out. Believe it or not, Lindsey Ruthart (my very first roommate) is in town also. So we have been shopping together and hanging out. I have been staying in the East side with Laura (my last journeyman roomie) and it has been sooooo wonderful! I love hanging out with Laura and being in my old stomping grounds. We have watched several movies and ordered pizza and spent lots of time doing "nothing" together. It has been beautiful.

I have spent my last several days just visiting people while they are still in country. Most of my American friends are about to flee to Thailand. I am soo jealous. Everything within me wants to go with them! I have seen the Rivers, Robert & Mindy, Debbie, Mona, the CBU South Asia B team (go ISP!), and random new j-man!! I feels like coming home for summer vacation to family.

Ok....here are some pics....these are mostly for you Lindsey! India is definitely not the same without you!

It's the sweaty/sticky India Alicia look again! Here is Laura & I at the Big Chill... a classic.

Lindsey, Caskeys, & Emily these are for you. We had to get the delicious cokes from the office. Lindsey and I even sat in our "spots" from training!! Good times.

We went to dinner with the Rivers at a new restaurant "Mystic in Bali"! It is a delicious Thai and Balinese restaurant! It is where the old Big Chill used to be. I think it's the same owners cause the desserts are the same as Big Chill! It even had the Barong idol everywhere...it was really like being in Bali...impressive.

Us ladies at NJP!! I have eaten here 3 days in a row. I have definitely been loving the Indian food!! It is soo good and sooo cheap!

One of my favorite loves in India...Ericka.

Mona!!! She cooked the best food ever for us. I plan to see her SEVERAL more times this stay...and hopefully go live with her for a few days!

I am back

I am back from Germany and settling into Riverside again before I leave for India on June 17th. I will be posting some pictures soon....

I uploaded all 600 plus to my picasa website...so if you are bored...feel free to click away...

http://picasaweb.google.com/namaskarsa

International Service Projects

CBU is starting their summer team send offs today! This May we have 10 teams going all over.

If you are interested in hearing and reading about what God is doing then go to ....

www.calbaptist.edu/isp

Teams in May:

• South Asia A
• Argentina
• East Asia Language A
• East Asia ESL
• Germany Sports
• South East Asia A
• Middle East: Arabic
• Switzerland
• Russia A
• Panama
• Germany Sports (that's my team!)

What is International Service Projects.... See a video and click here....

http://209.242.151.13/CBU/WM/CBU_ISP_Intro.wmv

We covet your prayers!!!

Munich, Germany

I am leaving today for Munich, Germany!! I will be leading a team of 9 students to do Sports Camps and to do a cultural exchange with German students. We will be back May 26th.

I will be posting updates on our website....

www.calbaptist.edu/isp and then click on Germany Sports

Things to be praying for:
- travel safety
- intentional and bold in sharing
- salvation
-unity amoung our team of 10
-spiritual and personal growth
- divine opportunities and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives and ministries

THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR PRAYERS!

Aspring to Be a Runner

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to start running 15-20 miles a week. The beauty of a New Year's Resolution is that you have the whole year to accomplish it. I attempted the whole running thing in January, but honestly it was just too cold, so when it started warming up here in Southern California I got excited to start running.

Just for a little background on me and my running history...there is no history. ha. I have kind of always aspired to be a runner, but honestly I hate running. Mentally, I get bored and it just isn't really the funnest sport...especially for the extrovert. But here I am today to tell you that for the past 3 weeks, I have been consistent in running!! The most amazing thing is that I actually LOVE it. I find recently that it is kind of becoming addictive.

I have found a very diligent running partner, Julie, that actually LIKES to run in the mornings! Believe it or not, I love running in the mornings (shock i know) I just know myself well enough to know that I won't get up on my own. So Julie and I have been running Monday's and Wednesday's at 6 AM. I actually really love it. Who knew?

So anyways...maybe soon I won't have to aspire to be a runner any longer...and I can just say that I am a runner!! Wahoo. The best thing about this whole running thing is that I am actually really really enjoying it!

Pre-Wedding Fun

I have made it back form the wedding state Missouri! I had such an amazing time with Julie and all of my friends!! Julie was a radiant bride!! There ceremony was beautiful and I really liked it because they both wrote their own vows to each other. Julie and Jared have a heart to live alongside the poor and I can't wait to hear all that God does in and through their lives! God has been blessed to bring them to each other to partner in ministry together!! This is such a beautiful picture of what God intended marriage to be!!

Journeyman!

Chesed and I in the car singing!

Look we are in dresses!

The bride and her bridesmaids had henna put on their hands!

This is definitely a framer!

Travel

Tomorrow morning, I am boarding a plane to go to Richland, Missouri where I will be greeted by my best friend Julie. Julie is getting married this weekend! I can't believe the time has finally come. I am honored to be in her wedding and to be a part of the celebration. I am getting a little sentimental thinking about all that we have been through.

Julie and I met at our Field Preperation Orientation for Journeyman. We bonded over Curtis Jones (at the time my current student minister that was best friends with her youth pastor...small world) on the bus ride from the airport to the farm. Then to our suprise and excitement we were paired up as roomies for those next 8 weeks...and the rest is history. Julie became coined as "my best friend in India". I feel like a part of me is in this woman...at least the India part of me. This Saturday she is getting married! She is marrying an amazing man of God (also a journeyman) who is perfect for her!!

Julie and I at the Taj Mahal just a few days after we arrived in India.

Julie & I well into our term and being very indian (we were making chocolate chip cookies).

The friendship continues even after India...us literally on Hollywood Blvd this January!

So to switch topics a little bit.... I have been traveling like crazy since I got back from India. I had someone today ask me if the people at the airport know me. I just want to say that I am thankful for the season of travel that God has given me...it is such a sweet blessing from him. Here is a recap of my flying schedule since I got back...

September 2007-

• Richmond, Virgina- J3 Training
• Richmond, Virginia- J-man debriefing

October 2007-

• Drove out to Cali

November 2007-

• Bulverde, Texas- Angela's Wedding

December 2007-

• Bulverde, Texas - Christmas

January 2008-

• Richmond, Virginia- J3 training
• Julie comes to visit

February 2008-

• San Fransisco, CA- Golden Gate Missions Conference
• Enseneda, Mexico

March 2008-

• Dallas, Texas- Criswell Conference and personal vacation

April 2008-

• Richland, Missouri- Julie's Wedding

May 2008-

• Munich, Germany- ISP team

June-July 2008-

• Delhi, India

Julie's wedding this weekend will be a J-man reunion of sorts...I get to see all these ladies sorounding Ronald and then some. These ladies were my family in India...and I get to hug there necks tomorrow!! Can you tell i am excited?

Tag...I'm It

Tagged by Kim.

4 Jobs I have in my life:

• Hostess at Olive Garden
• A Rebate Clerk at Friedrich Air Conditioning Company
• Life Skills Specialist- basically a babysitter for kids in da hood.
• Worked in undergrad admissions at DBU for the Director of Admissions ( i organized his life)

4 Movies I have watched more than once:

• 13 going on 30
• Never Been Kissed
• Little Mermaid
• Father of the Bride

4 Places I have lived:

• Dallas Texeas
• Bulverde, Texas
• Delhi, India
• Riverside, CA

4 TV shows I watch/watched

• Prison Break
• Chuck
• Fresh Prince of BelAir
• Home Improvement

4 Places I have been

• Tegucigalpa, Honduras
• Kishinev, Moldova
• Bali, Indonesia
• Singapore

4 people who email me regularly

• my mom
• facebook
• Amber (my sister)
• field workers with their updates!

4 of my favorite foods

• burritos (chipotle style)
• Loredo Lasagne
• chicken and rice
• a california cobb salad

4 places I would like to visit

• Egypt
• Indonesia
• Africa
• Ireland

4 things I am looking forward to this year

• Starting Seminary
• A date in 2008 ;)
• Having my sister moving back to America
• Going to India this summer to see my Indian Family

Now its my turn to tag: Kelley, Andrea, Emily, Amanda, Janelle... Enjoy ladies!

sex trafficking, 3 guys, kayaks, & opportunity

DID YOU KNOW....

• Human Trafficking is the world's THIRD LARGEST criminal enterprise after drugs and weapons.
• Worldwide there are nearly 2 MILLION children in the commercial sex trade.
• There are an estimated 600,000 to 800,000 children, women, & men trafficked across international borders annually.
• Approximately 80% of human trafficking victims are WOMEN and GIRLS and 50% are minors.
• Sex trafficking is an engine of the global AIDS epidemic.
• The total market value of illicit human trafficking is estimated to be in excess of 32 BILLION.

Let me introduce you to my Cal Baptist friends Justin, Tim, and Ethan...

These three guys have a passion for justice and want to do what they can to bring justice for the victims of human trafficking. They have partnered with the International Justice Mission (an organization that rescues victims of violence, sexual exploitation, slavery, and oppression) and are kayaking 1,700 miles down the Mississippi River for the purpose or creating awareness and raising $20,000 for the International Justice Mission.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

You might not be able to Kayak the Mississippi, but there IS something you can do...

• GIVE today. Help support the caseworkers that work to free those entrapped in the sex industry.
• EDUCATE yourself. Go online to http://www.ijm.org/ and read the facts and the stories of lives affected by this issue.
• MOVE OTHERS. After you learn this truth, do something with it and inform others in your circles of influence. THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BLOGS...SHARE THE LINK LOVE.... TAKE THE TIME TO LINK TO THIS POST OR MAKE OR OWN POST. http://upstreambattle.blogspot.com/

Tim (Junior, math major), Justin (Senior, history major) Ethan (Cal Bapt Alumni and Staff).

These guys could really use your support in any way! If you are interested in giving to the International Justice Mission or supporting these guys email me at adivers@calbaptist.edu . If you are some where along the Mississippi River and are interested in hosting them in your church or along the way let me know!

Thanks for taking the time to read this post! Don't forget to give these guys your LINK LOVE!!!

You can follow their journey here.... http://upstreambattle.blogspot.com
leave some comment love if you are excited about what these boys are doing!

I am a 10

I don't know if I have mentioned this enough...but I have an absolutely amazing supervisor here in California. She could seriously be one of my most favorite ppl in the world. She is brillant, incredible at managing and administration, and she is an awesome friend. I seriously think I have a woman crush...Kristen White...you are amazing.

Anyways...so she has made me get into this habit of rating my current situation. Many times in staff meetings, she makes us all go around and say where we are in life. 1 being you would like to die and a 10 meaning life is great! I have also kind of adapted this and use it with my Germany team as well (I don't know if I have mentioned it on my blog...but i am leading 9 students to Germany this may... a post is soon in coming). It is soo great cause you really get a feel for how people are doing pretty quickly.

So currently I am a TEN! Yay for me. I am ten because I just got back from Wicked with my amazing supervisor Kristen, I am leaving for Texas tomorrow morning and get to see my family and college best friends, the stuff the Lord and I have been dialoguing about (future and singleness) is being settled in my heart and gaining a lot of clarity, my job is awesome, and my church is awesome. So yeah... I am a 10!!! This is of course all because of Jesus! He ROCKS my world!!!

Wicked and Dallas

Tonight I got the amazing opportunity to see "Wicked" the broadway musical! It was absolutely amazing and it was also my first broadway musical of my 24 years of existance!! I am officially cultured. You can congratulate me if you feel it is necessary.

It is 2 AM and I have to leave for the airport in about 3.5 hours for Dallas, Texas!! I am soo excited. It is a buisness trip with a little bit of personal vacation tackeled on to the first and last part. I honestly haven't really made any specific plans with anyone...it's kind of wierd. I am hoping to take a road trip and see some of the college roomies!

God bless Texas....I can't wait to be on some Texas soil soon!!!

Ministry of Singleness vs. Ministry of Marriage

I have been thinking a lot about my singleness. ha. It's not really hard to do when you are graduated and single and you spend a lot of time by yourself. The weird thing about singleness is that you can't really do anything to get un-single. It's one of the few things in life you can't really work hard and diligent towards resulting in spouseage. I find that my season of singleness is an opportunity for a good battle.... a fight to keep contentment! There are days that I succeed beautifully and days where the battle is lost without even a struggle.

This week, I was reminded of the ministry of marriage. Voddie Bauchman came and spoke at CBU last week about Biblical Womanhood and Manhood. He talked mostly about the man's role in marriage and the standards we as women should have for our future spouse. It kind of reminded me while I am single...cause I haven't settled for an idiot! He also talked a lot about the ministry you have changes when you are married. Then I began to really think about the ministry that I have right now because of my single status. I realized more and more what amazing opportunities I have to pour into people because I am single and I have time to give differently than those who have responsibility to there families. One day, my priorities and ministry will change when I get married and then it kind of made me sad. (I know...silly). So basically...I was reminded that the ministry I have currently is so special and unique and I need to just enjoy it!! I need to be content.

I have talked to several other single peeps and honestly I find that contentment and singleness don't always go hand in hand. And it's not because we don't want to be, but because the enemy wants to still our joy. So...I am fighting for content and joy in the ministry of singleness that I have until God one days decides to change my ministry....

I hope this makes sense....if not...ah well...i wrote it more to get it off my mind.

Fearful Yet Trusting

These days I have been really really restless. It has actually been kind of ridiculous. It is mid semester and recently I have been asked "what are you doing next year?" multiple times in a day. The problem with this question isn't so much that I don't have an answer, but rather that there are so many variables to the question and each variable is completely out of my control. I could be honest with you and say that my future kind of freaks me out... Alicia is fearful of her future. I am fearful that I will be uprooted from my CBU community that I have come to know as home, I am fearful that my future will be filled with many more lonely nights (i hate being alone), I am fearful that I will never have a partner in ministry (spouse), I am fearful of being truly known, I am fearful of where God might send me and the sacrifices that are ahead, I am fearful that I will miss God's will for my life and not be used of God. Like I said, I am fearful of my future...it's that plain and simple. And I realize how rediculous some of these fears are, but they are reality in my life these days.

But then suddenly I am reminded of something absolutely amazing... God's FAITHFULNESS. I can testify to each one of you that God is Faithful in my life!! He gave me two amazing years in India. God let me be a part of the amazing work that He wanted to accomplish there! What an honor and privilege that was! And now I am Southern California living out my dream job and operating in my spiritual gifts and being loved by the family of God! He has always given me everything that I need and blessed me more than I can ever have imagined! God's faithfulness is woven through out my 24 years of existence. His faithfulness is one of the most beautiful and obvious things in my life. God spoke to me very clearly and told me to be excited about my future because HE IS GOOD and HE IS FAITHFUL. He reminded me that He has plans to prosper me and to give me a future!! So...though everything within me wants to fear the unknown... I am choosing to be excited and trust God with my future!!

So basically I have no idea what my future holds, but I know that my Creator is more than capable of it and I am just praying for increased amounts of trust! Honestly, God has done pretty amazing things in my almost 25 years of life...I am curious what He has in store for the next 25!!