These days I have been really really restless. It has actually been kind of ridiculous. It is mid semester and recently I have been asked "what are you doing next year?" multiple times in a day. The problem with this question isn't so much that I don't have an answer, but rather that there are so many variables to the question and each variable is completely out of my control. I could be honest with you and say that my future kind of freaks me out... Alicia is fearful of her future. I am fearful that I will be uprooted from my CBU community that I have come to know as home, I am fearful that my future will be filled with many more lonely nights (i hate being alone), I am fearful that I will never have a partner in ministry (spouse), I am fearful of being truly known, I am fearful of where God might send me and the sacrifices that are ahead, I am fearful that I will miss God's will for my life and not be used of God. Like I said, I am fearful of my future...it's that plain and simple. And I realize how rediculous some of these fears are, but they are reality in my life these days.
But then suddenly I am reminded of something absolutely amazing... God's FAITHFULNESS. I can testify to each one of you that God is Faithful in my life!! He gave me two amazing years in India. God let me be a part of the amazing work that He wanted to accomplish there! What an honor and privilege that was! And now I am Southern California living out my dream job and operating in my spiritual gifts and being loved by the family of God! He has always given me everything that I need and blessed me more than I can ever have imagined! God's faithfulness is woven through out my 24 years of existence. His faithfulness is one of the most beautiful and obvious things in my life. God spoke to me very clearly and told me to be excited about my future because HE IS GOOD and HE IS FAITHFUL. He reminded me that He has plans to prosper me and to give me a future!! So...though everything within me wants to fear the unknown... I am choosing to be excited and trust God with my future!!
So basically I have no idea what my future holds, but I know that my Creator is more than capable of it and I am just praying for increased amounts of trust! Honestly, God has done pretty amazing things in my almost 25 years of life...I am curious what He has in store for the next 25!!
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