I have been thinking a lot about my singleness. ha. It's not really hard to do when you are graduated and single and you spend a lot of time by yourself. The weird thing about singleness is that you can't really do anything to get un-single. It's one of the few things in life you can't really work hard and diligent towards resulting in spouseage. I find that my season of singleness is an opportunity for a good battle.... a fight to keep contentment! There are days that I succeed beautifully and days where the battle is lost without even a struggle.
This week, I was reminded of the ministry of marriage. Voddie Bauchman came and spoke at CBU last week about Biblical Womanhood and Manhood. He talked mostly about the man's role in marriage and the standards we as women should have for our future spouse. It kind of reminded me while I am single...cause I haven't settled for an idiot! He also talked a lot about the ministry you have changes when you are married. Then I began to really think about the ministry that I have right now because of my single status. I realized more and more what amazing opportunities I have to pour into people because I am single and I have time to give differently than those who have responsibility to there families. One day, my priorities and ministry will change when I get married and then it kind of made me sad. (I know...silly). So basically...I was reminded that the ministry I have currently is so special and unique and I need to just enjoy it!! I need to be content.
I have talked to several other single peeps and honestly I find that contentment and singleness don't always go hand in hand. And it's not because we don't want to be, but because the enemy wants to still our joy. So...I am fighting for content and joy in the ministry of singleness that I have until God one days decides to change my ministry....
I hope this makes sense....if not...ah well...i wrote it more to get it off my mind.
6 comments:
Vodie is really great, so dont get me wrong, but he's got it wrong.
I am married with kids, and my husband and I still do ministry. We actually do the same things we did before we were married, after we were married and after we had kids. Don't buy into the lies that women's roles are ONLY to serve their husband when they get married or that their ministry is only to their families - it's a lie. It's actually a missinterpretation of scripture.
So, in the Bible, when God tells Adam that Eve is his helpmate - that word too often is miss-used. In Hebrew, the word used to describe Eve was "ezer" and God called Himself this when He came to Israel's aid!! Certainly God is not secondary!
"God created men and women in His own image to be equal over His other creations." Don't forget that!!!
While being single and doing ministry IS a very special time, don't think that when you get married your only role is to serve your family. I love my husband and I serve him and my family and he serves us as well. I watch the kids while he does ministry stuff, and he watches the kids while I do ministry stuff. He is the head our our household, but we are equals and it is wonderful.
I tend to agree with "anonymous". My ministry while single is just the same as it is right now as a married girl with a kid... only more people to love on! So don't be sad! :)
To anonymous,
First of all, I think I didn't make myself clear in what I wanted to portray. I know that I can still do my own personal ministry while married, but it does change in some ways. There are some things that singles do that married people can't do. It's just a fact. So sometimes your ministry changes because your time involvement changes. And I don't think one is worse or better...I jsut think it's different! But just to clear things up for my readers...i know taht I will have a ministry once I am married too but it will change a little! It was meant to be more of an upbeat post and not a downer! Sorry for not being clear!
alicia, i really appreciated the fact that you write out your struggles and "ponderances" and deep thoughts on your blog. i think it shows such a level of maturity to be able to talk about things instead of keeping them to yourself and allowing those fears or insecurities that we all have to eat away at you... but you share and encourage us (your readers) and i love you!!!
since i'm getting married in a few weeks i've thought a lot about this. i can't speak for everyone but my ministry is probably going to be a lot different than it would be if i stayed single, especially in a cross cultural environment. it's not really appropriate for a married woman to do a lot of the things i did in the himalayas. also, we are moving to dc in the fall and i will be our primary source of income while he's in grad school, which will require me to work a lot and give me less time and financial freedom to do all the things i used to do.
i could make a very long list of all the things that will change!
but my main point is that no matter what stage of life you're in the enemy will do all he can to defeat you and make you discontent. then you start thinking about all the things that would be easier if your life was different. i've been there as both a single and not single girl! i love jared but once i start to believe he defines me then i struggle in very much the same way i did being a lone single girl in a group of attached women--i struggle with identity.
i know my ministries will change, but i'm still the same person i was before i met jared. i still have the same passions and abilities. he has enhanced my life and i've learned i don't have to be in control all the time to make a difference, but my essence sure hasn't changed. i still like to be where the action is and i still have ambitions (hopefully they're more godly than they used to be). i fully expect God to use what He's given me for His own glory even if it looks different than i thought it would.
so, yeah, you will face this tension your whole life, but you're smart and didn't need this long comment to know that:) i'm looking forward to seeing you soon and i can show you all my neat pampered chef stuff. haha....love you!
i LOVED Vodie and i definitely agree with this blog.
the devil does try to steal our joy.
Post a Comment