I'm waking up this website for a little New Years post, which by the way is one of my favorite posts each year. I could kind of care less about the actual party of New Years (my favorite way to bring in the new year is with close friends in a simple setting) but the refection of the past year and the hope of a new year is reason enough for me to love the turning of the calendar.
The year 2013 for me was a year of establishing.
I know this is kind of a precarious word to describe a year, but I can't think of a truer adjective. This year was filled with plenty including global trips (El Salvador, India, & Cancun) several new roommates, new friendships, a brand new member of my Alicia family (my fur child Catsby), introduction into another decade (30), another church plant (hello Bayou City- Cypress), hospitals and surgeries for family members (Nonnie's miraculous recovery), the engagement of my best friend, lots of pregnancies and babies, and so much more...but I will always ear-mark this year as a year where he put my feet on a strong foundation and made me ready to run the lane he has given me.
I have now lived in Houston for about two and a half years. My first year in Houston, I feel like He spent the entire year pastoring me and just slowing nursing me back to spiritual health. Man, I was a physical and spiritual mess when I first arrived here from Cali-- some of my darkest days. I was in no place to lead or probably have the job I did, but thankfully grace covered me. So this second year (2013), when I finally got to a place where I could spiritually stand and no longer crawl, I saw him establish my feet.
In 2013, I saw him establish female/sister relationships that I had longed for and prayed for this year that was always lacking in Houston. I saw him establish my home (it took several roommates and lots of furniture and curtain switch-ups) by providing roommates that are community and family again. And even though I still haven't seen him give me a spouse yet, he gave me a pet-- something to love and something to take care of that won't move away or move out. So I guess I can also jokingly say he established my title as Cat Lady. I feel like he took all these primary and important relational and physical needs in my life and made them RICH beyond my expectations. He used this year to restore and FIRMLY establish what had been lost in transition.
But most importantly, I saw God establish my identity in my job.
I remember so clearly, standing in my backyard in California, talking to Pastor Curtis on the phone regarding my job at Bayou City Fellowship when the church was still just a seed. And I remember him telling me that if I took the job that I could be the "missions pastor". I of course immediately interrupted him and told him basically there was no way I would EVER call myself that, but thanks. I was so incredibly uncomfortable with that title...I mean 50 year old MEN have that title...not 26 year old females. Then Pastor Curtis lovingly told me, well you call yourself what you want but I will always see you as pastor and will always give you the same authority. Stunned by his response, I just carried it all these years. The funny thing is I remember that conversation so extremely clear like it was yesterday. So when I moved and the seed became a plant, I named myself the Director of Mobilization-- not pastor.
About mid-year this year, I began to wrestle with the Lord about my title. Stupid I know. And to be honest, I don't think I fully understood the purpose or reason for the wrestling and the conflict in my heart. I later realized that it was conviction. I eventually realized the angst was because I was not fully walking in what God had for me because I was holding on to an identity that wasn't me anymore. I had grown and changed and I was ready. After about 4 months of wresting with God, and a theological conversation with Pastor Curtis and Pastor Vernon about female pastors, I finally changed my job title to Mobilization Pastor (10 second dance party). I know that titles are insignificant and its not my identity but somehow God had more for me even in my title. Before this, I lived in such fear. Fear to lead, always feeling that that was there was someone better, more equipped, more spiritual, smarter, more competent. I lived in total self-condemnation. But since I change my title and started to walk in obedience, I have seen these lies destroyed slowly and I have found a new and fresh confidence in the Spirit, a new freedom, and ground where there was none before. I am ready to run my lane.
So I pray and I hope, that now that my feet have been established in 2013, that 2014 will be a year of WALKING fully in what God has stewarded to me. Heck, I might even pick up RUNNING with a banner of joy waving over my life and ministry.
Each year, I like to have specific things that I pray over my year. These happen to be what I am praying for this year.
1. Hand of the Lord- I went to Rise, an event at my church that Beth Moore speaks to our women, and she talked about the Hand of the Lord. It was so funny because she put into a "handy" acronym what was already in my heart. So she basically organized my heart and thoughts for me! I know that I am in way over my head, but the Holy Spirit can empower me. So I need him desperately to put his hand of favor and annointing over my life.
H- Holiness
A- Anointing
N- Name of Jesus on my life
D- Deeds produced by the Spirit
2. That Jesus would fan into flame the gifts of God in me and in our church. Pastor Curtis mentioned in his sermon last week that he was praying through the giftings of the spirit in 1 Corinthians. I loved this so much. So praying that those in me would be brought to the surface and used mightily. Praying for dreams and vision, healings, and the signs of the supernatural to be evidenced in our church and in our staff.
3. Deep personal revival. That I would personally know Christ more intimately this year than I ever have before. He is doing a fresh and unique work in my heart...and I couldn't be more excited.
4. Joy. I have found myself singing and dancing a lot more. Somehow I stopped and didn't know it. I hope this year to be a woman of joy and that Jesus continually puts songs in my heart.
Happy New Year Everyone!
The year 2013 for me was a year of establishing.
I know this is kind of a precarious word to describe a year, but I can't think of a truer adjective. This year was filled with plenty including global trips (El Salvador, India, & Cancun) several new roommates, new friendships, a brand new member of my Alicia family (my fur child Catsby), introduction into another decade (30), another church plant (hello Bayou City- Cypress), hospitals and surgeries for family members (Nonnie's miraculous recovery), the engagement of my best friend, lots of pregnancies and babies, and so much more...but I will always ear-mark this year as a year where he put my feet on a strong foundation and made me ready to run the lane he has given me.
I have now lived in Houston for about two and a half years. My first year in Houston, I feel like He spent the entire year pastoring me and just slowing nursing me back to spiritual health. Man, I was a physical and spiritual mess when I first arrived here from Cali-- some of my darkest days. I was in no place to lead or probably have the job I did, but thankfully grace covered me. So this second year (2013), when I finally got to a place where I could spiritually stand and no longer crawl, I saw him establish my feet.
In 2013, I saw him establish female/sister relationships that I had longed for and prayed for this year that was always lacking in Houston. I saw him establish my home (it took several roommates and lots of furniture and curtain switch-ups) by providing roommates that are community and family again. And even though I still haven't seen him give me a spouse yet, he gave me a pet-- something to love and something to take care of that won't move away or move out. So I guess I can also jokingly say he established my title as Cat Lady. I feel like he took all these primary and important relational and physical needs in my life and made them RICH beyond my expectations. He used this year to restore and FIRMLY establish what had been lost in transition.
But most importantly, I saw God establish my identity in my job.
I remember so clearly, standing in my backyard in California, talking to Pastor Curtis on the phone regarding my job at Bayou City Fellowship when the church was still just a seed. And I remember him telling me that if I took the job that I could be the "missions pastor". I of course immediately interrupted him and told him basically there was no way I would EVER call myself that, but thanks. I was so incredibly uncomfortable with that title...I mean 50 year old MEN have that title...not 26 year old females. Then Pastor Curtis lovingly told me, well you call yourself what you want but I will always see you as pastor and will always give you the same authority. Stunned by his response, I just carried it all these years. The funny thing is I remember that conversation so extremely clear like it was yesterday. So when I moved and the seed became a plant, I named myself the Director of Mobilization-- not pastor.
About mid-year this year, I began to wrestle with the Lord about my title. Stupid I know. And to be honest, I don't think I fully understood the purpose or reason for the wrestling and the conflict in my heart. I later realized that it was conviction. I eventually realized the angst was because I was not fully walking in what God had for me because I was holding on to an identity that wasn't me anymore. I had grown and changed and I was ready. After about 4 months of wresting with God, and a theological conversation with Pastor Curtis and Pastor Vernon about female pastors, I finally changed my job title to Mobilization Pastor (10 second dance party). I know that titles are insignificant and its not my identity but somehow God had more for me even in my title. Before this, I lived in such fear. Fear to lead, always feeling that that was there was someone better, more equipped, more spiritual, smarter, more competent. I lived in total self-condemnation. But since I change my title and started to walk in obedience, I have seen these lies destroyed slowly and I have found a new and fresh confidence in the Spirit, a new freedom, and ground where there was none before. I am ready to run my lane.
So I pray and I hope, that now that my feet have been established in 2013, that 2014 will be a year of WALKING fully in what God has stewarded to me. Heck, I might even pick up RUNNING with a banner of joy waving over my life and ministry.
**************************************************
Each year, I like to have specific things that I pray over my year. These happen to be what I am praying for this year.
1. Hand of the Lord- I went to Rise, an event at my church that Beth Moore speaks to our women, and she talked about the Hand of the Lord. It was so funny because she put into a "handy" acronym what was already in my heart. So she basically organized my heart and thoughts for me! I know that I am in way over my head, but the Holy Spirit can empower me. So I need him desperately to put his hand of favor and annointing over my life.
H- Holiness
A- Anointing
N- Name of Jesus on my life
D- Deeds produced by the Spirit
2. That Jesus would fan into flame the gifts of God in me and in our church. Pastor Curtis mentioned in his sermon last week that he was praying through the giftings of the spirit in 1 Corinthians. I loved this so much. So praying that those in me would be brought to the surface and used mightily. Praying for dreams and vision, healings, and the signs of the supernatural to be evidenced in our church and in our staff.
3. Deep personal revival. That I would personally know Christ more intimately this year than I ever have before. He is doing a fresh and unique work in my heart...and I couldn't be more excited.
4. Joy. I have found myself singing and dancing a lot more. Somehow I stopped and didn't know it. I hope this year to be a woman of joy and that Jesus continually puts songs in my heart.
Happy New Year Everyone!
