Our Hearts #EverydayMay

The heart is a messy and deceptive thing.

Last night I sat between two friends, who I love more than words, each struggling with different varieties of disappointment with life. Each of their disappointments is painful and real. And as a friend I always struggle with how to console and how to love, especially when it deals with matters of the heart. The heart is stubborn and it wants what it wants sometimes spinning out of control.

The heart is the seat of our emotions. Scripture warns us to guard our hearts because it is the wellspring of life. Our hearts are a God–given blessing but can so quickly and so easily be used against us. So how we do we guard our hearts in change, disappointments, through broken relationships, and through loss?

But what happens when your heart wants what it can’t have?

Or the things that our heart desires are not what God desires?

What happens when we see our hearts hardening?

What happens when you can’t trust your own heart anymore? Even Jeremiah said that “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

How do we keep our hearts pure and mold able in the hands of God in conjunction with life disappointments?

I wish I had the answers, which I don’t, but I think there is an abiding piece that is important along with eyes that our focused on the prize and the cross. When parents disappoint, men disappoint, friends disappoint, and sometimes even God disappoints, we must work to guard our hearts and press that much more into Christ.

Lord, helps us to always guard our hearts through the ups and downs of life and keep Your gospel centric to our lives. Make our hearts to be molded to Your likeness.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz..... #EverydayMay

I am OLD.

I had two fails yesterday. Sleeping fails.

So I used to judge people that couldn't do things because they were too sleepy

But yesterday, twice. I failed.

I failed my roommate and fell asleep during pirates. She sadly had no one to laugh at all the jokes.

I have never actually done this before. Who falls asleep in the movies?

This kid did.

And then, I came home to BLOG, and fell dead asleep while waiting for my computer to load.

And woke-up in the middle of the night with my lap top still open next to me.

So I am old, I can't stay awake past 10pm at night.

When did I become this?

Granite, I did have several early mornings, but still?!!

So, all this to say, sorry #everydaymay peeps for not producing genius writing.

So here's to last night and sleeping!

Summer is Here! #EverydayMay

Summer is making it's debut this weekend and I feel the graduation blues disappearing! Watching the season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance last night, reading while sun bathing in the sun this afternoon, hosting a group of friends tomorrow night, and making the first beach trip of the summer on Monday are all redemptive signs that summer is here!!

I absolutely love summer. I love iced drinks, barbeque's, picnics, the smell of sunscreen and sand between my toes, the hot sun, sunsets at the beach, and the carefree joy that summer ushers in! To me it's like a breath of fresh air.

I am not really sure what people do during the summer, when they aren't traveling the globe, but I am going to try to make my last summer in Cali as epic as possible! My only plans are to work PT at the Bucks, become a Californian beach bum, and enjoy quality time with friends and family. It's going to be a rough summer, but someone has to do it!

So I was thinking about watching a tv series this summer, but I am rethinking this and thinking instead I might work on building a summer reading list and become smarter. This is what I have so far, but I need some fun fictions.... any suggestions?

I am not sure if this is the book I will read, but I am looking for a good book that deal with working with volunteers in the church. It was recommend to me that I read a book on this, so still researching which is the best.

I started to read this series like 3 years ago and got through the first 3 or 4. I would like to finish them.

What are some other good books out there. I have smart nerdy friends that have awesome taste in books. What are some other non-academic or fictional books that you love and recommend?

Help build my reading list. And if you have the book, I would love even more to borrow it!

GodShape Musings Take 3 #EverydayMay

As many of you readers know, I have been taking part in a 5 week study on "Discovering Your God Shape". I have blogged about it previously here and here. And I officially have my Godshape statement. Drum Roll please....here it is...

My Godshape is to mobilize people to their next step

by challenging and equipping them

to live missional lives.

To Live Missional Lives...

My vision is to see people live out missional lives. Do not let the word missional fool you. This does not mean that I think everyone should move overseas or live cross-culturally. But I do think that God in His nature is missional. His entire narrative story from beginning to end is to create a people for Himself, the Church, to make His name known to all nations and people groups. This means that Church (and the individuals that make up the church) is the vehicle by which the nations will know Christ. So my vision is to help people understand how they can live on mission or in a way that people see the spaces they occupy (jobs, neighborhoods, clubs, or community) as opportunities and as platforms to bring salvation. I have a passion/vision to see people understand their role of living out missional lives.

My Godshape is to mobilize people to their next step...

I am not really the visionary type. I am much more of a meet you where you are at and get you to plus one, the next step. I see the potential people have (my developer) to live out God's mission in their spaces and I help them get one step beyond where they are at. I like to grab people's hand for a short time and walk to where they need to go next. Sometimes I get the privilege of seeing people make it overseas, or find their niche of ministry, or learn to share the gospel or testimony for the first time, or theologically understand God has a heart for the nations, or even understanding their specific role in the body of Christ. Whatever it is that people need to make that next step I like to mobilize them to action.

by challenging and equipping them...

The specific way that I move people to the next step is through challenge. I know this sounds kind of bizarre, but I seem to always have a charge and challenge to those I come alongside of. An example and confirmation of this was through a college team I lead to East Asia. We were in a time of affirmation and it was their time to encourage me. They thanked me for the way that I always challenged or charged them and helped to see their lives as something more. But the challenge is not without my desire come alongside and equip. In the coming alongside of, I love to train, teach, and lead from experience and my education that help lead them one step closer to missional living.

For example, as I meet individuals who God has highly gifted in their professional vocation such as engineering or business, I would challenge them to see their professional space at a platform for having global kingdom impact. To live out intentional lives to see their co-workers and their field as a space for infinite Kingdom impact so that people can know Christ. I would consider equal value and importance to commission the engineer into his firm as a missionary in the congregation to Africa. The missionary and the engineer then are the same, the Body of Christ sent out into the world to share the gospel of Jesus Chrst.

Part of my homework assignment was to see if people who know me agree. So do you agree or disagree? Thoughts?

Graduation Blues #EverydayMay

I have been stuck in the woes of graduation blues these days. I guess it’s not that surprising; it seems with every major accomplishment or milestone, there is always some element of disappointment or displacement that follows. Today, I had lunch with a dear friend, Bethany, and she was asking me how life was post graduation. I had to be honest and respond with emotional and a little bit sad. Graduation has ushered a season of” goodbyes” and “last times”. And the honest truth is that I am heartbroken. I have been consistently fighting back tears in the most ordinary of moments trying to stop to make mental snapshots of the emotions and experiences that I will never be able to imitate or capture again. I am currently trying to conceptualize how I am actually going to leave everything that is so great and wonderful here in California in exchange for a sea of unknown possibilities. The honest truth is my heart is not where my head is, but I am giving myself grace and time for my heart to follow.

I am also experiencing identity loss. Isn’t it amazing how much stock we put in the roles we play to be what define us? I love that I am a Californian, a student, a Sandalite, a member of my small group, best friend to Becka, that little Delaney and Evan know my name and give the best hugs, my cousin Erika does my hair, etc… I could go on. But these roles/identities will soon be stripped away and I will be left with meaningful memories.

But the beautiful thing is that my identity is deeply rooted in Christ. So when life changes, when I find myself uprooting (again), when friends come and go, I always have a constant. Christ promises, that He will never leave me or forsake me; That if I lose my life, I will gain it; That He has created me for something so much greater than Alicia and my own glory; That I am His daughter; that I am given all the spiritual blessings in heaven; that I am an heir; that I am holy; and most importantly I was given life because of His death. These are the identities that I cling to in moments where roles change and life is shaken up.

So here’s to an emo post. I know this too shall pass…I see joy in the horizon.

Homesick for India #EverydayMay

The best part of my day today was serving an Indian customer that came through the doors. He was wanting to order Chai (a staple beverage in India), but anyone that has traveled to India and tasted Indian chai, it is NOTHING like Starbucks chai. Same name, different tastes. So I really enjoyed loving on a customer today that most people would probably never give him the time of day because his accent was hard to understand or they thought he was crazy. But I loved it.

I have been thinking about India a lot in the past few weeks. Mostly because I have come to the unfortunate reality that I will not be traveling internationally this summer. This is the first time since I graduated college in 2005 that I am US bound in the summer. So for the past 5 years, I have spent 3 of them in India.

Today I was wildly homesick for India. So much so that I found myself tearing up at the thought of her. I actually wanted to sweat in my Salwar Kameez while feeling the polluted dirty air on my face as I drove through the bustling city of Delhi. I wanted to visit Deepa's one bedroom house in the slums and drink chai, talk about Bollywood movies, and catch up on life. I wanted to hear her tell me what God was doing in her life, her family, and her village. I wanted visit my best friend Mona and eat her delicious food that she made for me because she rocks at hospitality. I wanted to see how big her daughter Erica has gotten. I wanted to feel the sense of adventure that comes with getting in a rickshaw and riding across town, and wondering if my rickshaw driver really understood my Hindi. I wanted to bargain for a cute new pair of earrings, and get lost in the thousands of people in an Indian market. I wanted to deck my hands in henna and dance on a rooftop. I wanted to get lost in the colors, the hospitality, the people, the chaos, and places that have made India a second home. I wanted so badly be on Indian soil today and just exist. I love that life just slows down there and that life is what it is. I longed for the simplicity.

But most importantly I wanted to feel the weight of lostness. I wanted to experience the reality of lostness and see the faces of people who will go to hell unless someone tells them of Christ. Because the truth is I forget. I forget about my persecuted brothers, the faithful laborers, and the hopelessness. In my comfortableness in the US, I forget the over 1 billion people in South Asia that do not know Christ. I forget to pray and I forget the urgency of lostness.

So today, I long for a place that I cannot physically go. But I pray that God would burden me with that country again in my absence this summer. I pray that God would never let me forget my love for that place and the overwhelming need for the gospel...

Other Fun Posts with pics of India:

http://aliciadivers.blogspot.com/2007/03/happy-happy-holithe-colors-are-here.html

http://aliciadivers.blogspot.com/2007/05/modes-of-transportation-traffic.html

http://aliciadivers.blogspot.com/2007/03/day-in-my-city.html

Theology and the Gospel #EverydayMay

I am a little bit of a theology nerd. Not the kind that will explicitly lay out the 5 points of Calvinism or bore you to death about my view of dispensationalism. I could care less about that. But I will confess that I get slightly giddy when I hear the gospel proclaimed and words such as “justification”, “propitiation”, “substitution”, and “atonement”. These words light a fire inside of me. I heart theology because it encompasses the beautiful truths that define not only our identity in Christ, but also our position in Christ. It becomes the compass of life when my heart goes astray.

To me there is direct connection between sharing the gospel and our knowledge of theology. When I used to work at CBU, I had the honor of interviewing several dozen students to serve on our International Service Projects. During their interviews, I always asked them to share the gospel with me as if I was an unbeliever. I am embarrassed to say that most of these “believers” could not articulate clearly what the gospel is and how one must be saved. Somehow the cross, Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection were absent and were reduced to “love God” and “ask him into your heart”. Sometimes Jesus’ name never even made it this gospel conversation. I don’t think that it’s because these students aren’t believers or they don’t have a heart to share the gospel. It is actually more elementary, I just don’t think they have the theological basics to fully understand the breadth and width of the gospel and how it changes our identity and position, from enemy to friend, from death to life, from condemned to heirs, from sinful to holy, from bondage to freedom. Christ’s death changed everything. Even now, my heart beats faster thinking of the gospels power in my life.

In college, I had to read a book called, “Fit bodies, Fat Minds” by Os Guinness. It basically argued that evangelicals were the worst intellectuals and called for Christians to understand intellectually and theologically their own faith. (As a disclaimer, I will be the first to say, I think theology has a place, but it should NEVER be a stumbling block for anyone to not share the gospel. In the New Testament, we see how people were being used by God in radical ways and had NO seminary degree or biblical training. People were constantly going and telling. Their testimony was a powerful bridge to people to coming to know Christ). But I have also seen that people are afraid to share their faith because they are afraid of the questions they will be asked and scared they will not have answers. No one wants to do something that they possible risk looking like an idiot, especially when it has to do something as crucial as salvation.

I am just going to come out and say it, the Church does a bad job at teaching theology. Despite this, we still love her and embrace her. We sometimes are afraid to dig deep and gain the nuggets of truth that are needed, sometimes out of laziness. Most of us can’t even share the narrative story of God from beginning to end. The Old Testament instead is a sea of confusion and has a disconnect to the New Testament. This is why I am passionate about people knowing the complete narrative of God, book end to book end. I think the more people know about God the more naturally it will flow to share the gospel in everyday situations. The more we know our own biblical framework and world view the more we are able to share the gospel. We will be ready and equipped because we did our homework. Our knowledge also frees us to meet people where they are with God and not recite some Roman Road or Wordless Color Book.

The gospel is the essence of life and the reason we exist. But we can’t keep it to ourselves. We Must Tell…it HAS to be the reason we exist. Sharing is the goal. All nations coming to Christ is the goal.

All this to say, If you are looking to grow in your theological intellect, I would actually recommend “Doctrine: What Christians Believe” by Mark Driscoll. Most theology books are beastly in size and difficulty, but Driscoll does a fantastic job of breaking down the essentials. I started to go through this with a girl I was mentoring and it provided GREAT discussion and resulted in “my theology heart to be very happy.”

Book club anyone?

Christians and Decision Making #EverydayMay

I had friend recently ask me how Christians make decisions when there are two godly opportunities. I am no expert in decision making, but I have had to make a lot of decisions in my 27 years of life. These are just some guiding principles I use when making decisions.

*I am assuming that both of these decisions would be within the will of God, so it’s like choosing an apple or an orange. There might not even be a right or wrong, so how do you choose?

1. Community- If you have a group of believers that love you and know you ask them for their input. Do they have concerns? Does this opportunity fit your giftings? Do they affirm you in this opportunity? Will they support you? What are their overarching thoughts? If you don’t have to make the decision by yourself, then don’t. Get input. Seek out people that you are godly and that aren’t afraid to speak the truth to you in love.

2. Giftings- I think God-given opportunities allow us to operate in the spaces that we're are gifted in. Not to say that I think that mastery of our giftings are necessary for moving forward. So two questions I would ask are: Does this opportunity allow me to operate in my gifts? Does this opportunity provide opportunity to grow in my gifts?

3. End Goal- I think to some degree, we all have an idea of what we think God has called us to do.Even if this “idea” is out of reach for the moment, it important to choose opportunities that allow you to get there. Sometimes one opportunity provides a scenario to get one step closer towards what God has called you to long-term. Which opportunity positions you to reach your end goal?

4. Kingdom impact- Which godly opportunity provides more opportunity to see people come to know the gospel? Will this hinder or usher in Kingdom work?

5. Prayer- Obviously prayer is the underlying foundational component in all of this. I don’t think Goad always writes neon words in the sky or speaks in an audible voice (sometimes he does), but I very strongly believe that God provides peace through our prayers and an open hand to do whatever it is that God desires.

6. Faith- I think that sometimes the thing God asks us to do is the one that requires faith and trust. And there is beauty in obedience and sacrifice. I also believe that God answers prayers when we move. Sometimes it’s hard to move us when we refuse to take steps of faith in one direction or the other.

7. Evaluation- I think sometimes the answer is in looking at past opportunities and the places that God has already taken you. Which opportunity is the best natural step for where you’ve already been and where you are going?

And if in the end and both are still the same... then pick the one that makes you excited, that makes you most alive. No need to be a martyr and choose the high road and the road of suffering. But rather follow Piper's analogy of Christian hedonism. For when we are most satisfied then He is most glorified. So choose the one that makes you passionate and most alive.

These are my raw thoughts. What do you do when choosing something when both seem to be godly and good options?

Student to Practitioner #EverydayMay

Today I had a flashback to May of 2005 to a few days following my college graduation. I had just packed all of my belonging into my 1986 white Volvo and left the campus of Dallas Baptist University for the last time as a student. I specifically remember crying all the way to my destination with the weight of the reality that I was no longer a student. Now my college years could be viewed in a completed photo album. Those glorified four years were over. And as I drove away, I knew I was driving towards India. A place so unknown and a place that would require things of me I was not sure how to give.

I had this parallel experience, just six years later. Today, I drove through the city of San Francisco for the last time, knowing that I would never return as a student. No tears today, just a full heart of gratitude and thankfulness. I did feel the weight of inadequacy and need for grace, same as India, with an understanding that the next thing that God has called me to in Texas is bigger than my skill set, but a high calling and worthy cause. My years as a student are complete. The time has come for me to walk away from the round table of discussion and enter the world as practitioner.

I have gone from student to practitioner.

The command from James keeps ringing strong in my head, "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it (James 1:22-25). I have spend a lot of years hearing, but now is a season of doing. It’s time to be a good steward of all that God has been building into me through passion, life experience, and now education. The days of discussion are at an end and it’s time to do.

It's a new season...

A season of action and putting into practice.

A season God has been training me to do for the past 27 years of life.

A season filled with trial and error, but I am finally at a place where I am not afraid to fail.

A season of leading, listening, and following.

A season of faith and God coming through.

A season of the GOSPEL LIVED OUT.

Marathon of Life #EverydayMay

Sometimes I like to think of my life as a marathon. Marathons are challenging and they test your endurance. I personally have only completed a half-marathon, but I still have a bucket list desire to run the full 26.2 miles. Running and I seem to have this love/hate relationship. When I am in shape, I absolutely love getting lost in my thoughts running amongst orange trees and sunsets. Sadly, right now running makes me just think how much I hate running and wish I could get back to those easy 6 mile runs of old.

But we are all on a marathon of life. There are days when I feel like, despite reality, that I am still at the starting line. Most of my friends have started to run the race and found a partner in life to run with them, to encourage them, and to help them make decisions along the way. Some of them seem to already have multiple laps around the course, yet I am still lacing up my shoes in the locker room. And then there are days when I see my friends starting a new lap with baby strollers. And then I wonder what it’s like to push a stroller and run at the same time. It’s just a foreign thought to me.

Then while sitting in the locker room waiting to run the race, I find a dark and handsome man who is also waiting to start the race. We begin to lace our shoes up together, he gets to know me, and then we begin to talk about starting this race together. He gets to know me a little bit more, and leaves to go to the bathroom. But for some unknown reason he never returns, even though he promised to return. So I wait in the locker room, anticipating the course and what it might be like to run.

I wonder if I am benched forever and beginning to question if I am even qualified to run the race. Am I too intimidating? Not pretty enough? Not skinny enough? Too educated? Too spiritual? Too boring? Why does everyone else get to run and not me? What's wrong with me? Why can't I work hard or make it possible to run? And so I wait, wondering if I am qualified or even made to run.

The problem with this view of the marathon is the starting point. I sometimes feel that this is how the world views my life. That it has not yet started because I am still single. That to be married, to have the family, and to have the American dream is when life somehow starts. I have NONE of these things which some days feel like disqualify me to run the race. I see the enemy tempt me with these lies in my life and those closest to me. The enemy would like nothing more than for me to believe this is my reality…waiting…for life to begin. It is in believing this lie that I miss out on the joy of running.

The truth is that my marathon is about bringing God glory through the body that He has graciously stewarded to me during the race. And it’s through focusing on the cross and His work that qualifies me to run. It’s not an identity or a position, but grace. And He provides an awesome community of runners to run alongside me, to teach me to run better, to run when I cannot any longer, and to spur me on to FINISH.

After all...

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”
I Corinthians 9:24-27

Has anyone else ever felt that there are things in your life that disqualify you to run? For my obvious season in life, Satan uses my singleness. But for you, what are other things that you find that Satan twists in your life that keep you from the joy of running?

Master Divers #EverydayMay

Today I graduated with my Masters in Intercultural Studies. I have donned the regalia, walked the stage, received the hood, and moved the tassel. After 19 trips in 19 months to San Francisco, 11 cohort members to team-up with, multiple projects to manage, 5 weeks in Oman to conduct ethnographic research, 100 pages of research to compile, and a capstone paper to present... it is finished!

I am not the same person that I was when I started. I have grown and have been stretched in more areas than I thought were possible. I walk away today with rich and meaningful experiences because of the amazing other 10 cohort members I got to share this process with and the fantastic faculty at Union University.

With an ever shrinking world and issues of war, poverty, globalization, human-trafficking, genocide, revolutions, and non-state actors coming to the forefront, I have never been so thankful to have received tools needed to help navigate these complex spaces. Dealing with questions pertaining to issues such as developing nations, poverty, global resources, and terrorist organizations there are no simple answers. It is normal to want to take these complex issues and try to fix it with simple and straight forward black or white answers. But my degree has taught me to paint these blank and white areas with grey paint. I have learned to appreciate other perspectives and theories through an inter-disciplinary approach that help to understand all that is to be considered when working cross-culturally. I find myself rooted in my biblical worldview but able to take on different lenses and perspectives to fully operate in that middle or gray space.

After examining global issues around the world, I have never been more convinced of the need for the Gospel. There is no hope without the Gospel. No hope. There is such a great need for professionals from all academic disciplines to collaborate and to understand the global impact possible through their ability to work in cross-cultural and international settings. As globalization causes the world to get smaller, there has never been a greater time in history for the Church to have a global impact that will change history forever in the Kingdom of God.

So tonight, I am thankful to be sent out in the world. I am hoping to be an open hand to serve God better because of the knowledge and experiences that He has stewarded to me in my graduate endeavor.

Fear #EverydayMay

tonight as i fall asleep i feel fear creeping its way in....

fear of the unknown...

fear of a new season...

fear of failure...

fear of incompetency...

fear of goodbyes...

fear of loss of identity...

fear of disappointing...

fear of singleness...

Holy Spirit please be bigger than my fears as I sleep tonight.

*i apologize for the lack of formating universality--posting from my phone.

A Little Bit About Me #EverdayMay

So tonight I completed 3 of 5 sessions of my GodShape small group class. It has been a joy to be a part of and even more fun to see how my Myers Briggs, Strength Finders, and Spiritual Gifts are all integrated with one another. As mentioned in a previous posts, I have taken all these tests but never thought to see how they play off each other, interact, and relate to the other.

So I thought I would share with you my results of these 3 tests. These do not define me, but rather provide a glance into the unique jewels and gems of gifts and talents that God has uniquely embedded in me. In the next couple of weeks, I will be hopefully have a defined role statements that integrates these ideas….

“My role in the body of Christ is to… {insert statement}.”

So this post will just help you understand how I get to my role statement , that I will be posting in the next several weeks.

Myers Briggs- ESFJ (Extrovert, Sending, Feeling, Judging)

*The only thing I have to say is that always test at a T instead of F. So they flip back and forth.

“ESFJ’s are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people’s needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJ’s follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJ’s are at the best in organizing people to get a job done.”

Strengths Finder

Here are my 5 strengths in order.

1. Belief- People who are especially talented in the Belief theme have certain core values that are unchanging. Out these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.

2. Developer- People who are especially talented in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

3. Responsibility- People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values and such as honesty and loyalty.

4. Communication- People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

5. Arranger- People who are especially talented in the Arranger theme can organize, but they also have a flexibility that complements this ability. They like to figure out how all the pieces and resources can be arranged for maximum productivity.

Spiritual Gifts in Order

*(#1 and #2 for me were tied)

1. Missionary- To share the Gospel and minister using the other spiritual gifts in a second culture or second community. I adapt easily in a culture different from mine. It is easy for me to move into a new community and make friends. I am able to relate well to Christians of different locations or cultures. The thought of beginning a new church in a new community is exciting to me. More than most, I have a strong desire to see all people of other communities and countries won to the Lord.

2. Apostolic- To lead, inspire and develop multiple churches of God or multiple pastors by the proclamation and the teaching of true doctrine. People seem to be willing to follow my leadership without much resistance. I feel a sense of authority in my relationship to the group. I have little fear in leading people where God wants them to go. I appreciate the opportunity to proclaim God’s word to others. I enjoy training workers in the congregation.

3. Teaching- To communicate the truths of God’s Word so that others can learn. I’m excited in helping people to discover important truths in the scriptures. Teaching a Bible class is one of the most enjoyable things I do (or could do) in the Church. It seems that people learn when I teach them. One of the joys of my ministry is training people to be more effective Christians. It is easy to organize materials for teaching a Bible class.

So this is a small glimpse into ME. I hope you enjoyed.

What is a church win? #EverydayMay

I am returning to the church conversation because it is centric to the life of the believer. Sadly, I also think that the average believer doesn't actually believe this centrality. Our actions reveal apathy, confusion, hypocrisy, and stagnant behavior towards Her. I think our hearts desire to find meaningful satisfaction, but somehow She still just leaves us disappointed and longing for movement and our hearts to be stirred.

The word "church" evokes a spectrum of emotions. What words or feelings come to mind when you think of church? Pain, joy, betrayal, indifference, community, hypocrisy, or maybe even love? We all bring our pasts, our doctrine, and our view of God when we come to church. The thing about church is that Adamic people run them, and therefore tragedy is inevitable.

But what would happen if we took our sinful nature out of the equation? And what remained was just the original intent and the purpose of the church lived out? It's important to start with the "win" or the end goal and then work backwards. Why did God bless and love the church? Why did Christ die for His bride? For what purpose did he gather a people for Himself?

So my question is for you as a reader is... "What do you consider to be THE church win?" "Why do we meet corporately, to what end, for what purpose?"

Looking forward to your thoughts, don't hesitate to ask more questions. And you don't have to have the answer, but I do hope you will add to the conversation!

Love tank full #EverydayMay

If anyone has spent any copious amount of time with me, they will learn that I have two phrases that are common to the "Alicia" vernacular...

"My love tank is full..."

"My little Alicia [insert other adj] heart is happy..."

These are both true of me as I write tonight.

On Saturday, I had the joy of celebrating my graduate accomplishments with my best friend, my cousins, and all the people that make California what it is to me. Saturday was a tangible expression of God's love for me, through a community of celebration, with people who cared enough to not only come, but come with cards, and flowers, and hugs.

California in my mind will always be synonymous with community. I have learned what Godly community tangibly looks like, but more importantly, I have seen a new piece of God's heart. His heart for his community to be the body together in the Unity we share in His gospel and His name. There is nothing more beautiful than the Church and the power it has to love.

Secondly, I have also been surprisingly blessed by a random dozen or so writers who have embarked on the #everydaymay blogging excursion. Wow, more awesome expressions of His church to me.

So tonight as I lay my head down on my pillow, I am overwhelmed by God's love to me through the amazing people He has put in my life...

love. tank. full. overflowing.

This is How We Do It... #EverydayMay

It's Friday night and we feel alright,

The party is here on the Kat side.

So we reach for our lipstick and we put it on,

Designated master, take the caps to our heads.

Hit the tunes cuz we're cleanin',

Roomies in the house say, " Master, yo we made it!"

It's feel so good in our HOODS tonight,

Preparations going down for tomorrow's partay.

All us grad students forgot about the hard work,

We gonna get' our clean on befo Divers get her lei.

So tip up your broom and throw your gloves on

And let me hear the cleaners say,

I'm kind of buzzed and it's all becuz

(this is how we clean it)

Kat ladies do it like nobody does

(This is how we party prep)

To all my homies who had our backs

(This is how we bring it)

Let's flip the track, never bring the school back

(That's cause we hooded it).

All Hail To VS #EverdayMay

**I wrote this in Word after I declared I wasn't posting for the night and then blogger went down. So it's a day late, I guess and old news, but posting none-the-less.

So I lied, I decided to post tonight for #EverdayMay. But it is a recycled post.

I just slipped on my overly amazing Victoria Secret boyfriend cut sweat pants so that I could get completely settled and prepared for the completion of my paper tonight. And I remembered the awesome Ode that my best friends and I wrote in honor of these sweatpants from heaven with all of their pure awesomeness. I personally coined them as “the pants the cuddle back.” If only VS would hire me for their marketing.

Here the ode is again, exactly a year later…and the pants are still going strong. Ladies go grab your wallets and hit the malls if you haven’t already purchased these bad boys.

Ode to PINK TM

By Alicia, Becka, and Sarah (roomies)

All roomies hail to Victoria
And all her many, saucy secrets.
You make us sing gloria,
5 pairs later, and still no regrets.

Cut like a boyfriend,
Sweatpants so soft you’ve captured our love,
We salute your cotton blend,
You give us sweet TLC like from above.

All the girly colors of the rainbow,
Pink, purple, gray, and black,
You give off that sexy glow,
Cause you always cuddle back.

Like good news, we tell of your wonder
On facebook and twitter, both far and wide,
No other sweatpants could tear us asunder,
We’ll wear you this summer wherever we ride.

We’ve learned we must stagger our swagger,
Cause we wanna wear you all the time,
Hotter and better than Keysha’s Mick Jagger,
The Trifecta together, you ARE that sublime.