Plans- Do I plan to move overseas again?

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 I can't help but chuckle to myself when I read this verse. During my four years of education at Dallas Baptist University, I must have had this verse read to me literally 1,000 times! I hate it when something you love becomes common place because it loses it's meaning. However, this verse holds such amazing truth for our lives. Me being the planner that I am, this verse holds a lot of truth and hope. God put this verse in the Bible for all of us planners out there...you know who you are. Because I am a planner, it is comforting to know first of all that God has a plan and second that His plan is always prosperous and beneficial for me- if I truly submit myself to Him. I am reminded however, that His idea of success and the worlds idea of success are not one in the same.

I have a lot of people ask me if I PLAN to move overseas again one day. Such a great question... but a hard one to answer. There are days when the thought of living overseas again sounds too hard and too difficult. It literally makes me want to throw-up in my mouth. I have been there and done that and I know EXACTLY what I would be getting myself into. As I settle into my comfortable life here in Southern California, my short-lived life overseas almost seems like a dream and a little unbelievable. These days it has been easy for me to want the American dream. I was reminded of the enticing nature of the world's success while I was in Texas. I had the opportunity to visit my cousin Angela (who is only 4 weeks older than me) in Austin along with her 3 bedroom, newly painted, and beautiful house. I couldn't help but want exactly what she had- the husband, brand new car, new house, and 2 dogs (except i would want kittens). She seemed to have what everyone wants and was doing it in style. That day, all I wanted was the perfect life in America. After all, all my peers around me would think I was living a meaningful life- especially if I had a great personal ministry.

However, also while in Texas, I was reading a book called "The Heavenly Man" which is the life-story a Chinese Christian brother Yun living out the beauty and hardship of the gospel. His life is anything but glamorous, yet I found myself longing for his life. Brother Yun is one of the leading church planters in China. To this day, he lives in Germany because he is one of the most wanted criminals (for sharing the gospel) in all of China and if he returned he would be executed. This book portrays Yun's life of utter physical destitution, but the author then beautifully contrasts the depths of spiritual riches He has in Jesus Christ. His life is filled with hunger, lack of clothing, separation from his family because of being imprisoned, hiding, loneliness, despair, and inhumane treatment. But his life is also filled with God's miraculous provision, visions from the Lord, miracles, supernatural prison escapes, and most importantly a deep intimate relationship with Jesus that satisfies. He knew Jesus and felt His presence in a way that I would give my right arm for. So many times throughout reading this book, I found myself in tears because of the beauty of God's presence and provision to His people. I experienced a taste of this while living in India and have longed for it to return since moving back. Today, I LONG for the presence of Christ and ministry like I had in India. Life overseas is nothing but hardship and sacrifice. But isn't that what Jesus' life was like here on earth? The purpose of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection is NOT for me to live comfortably, but to give my life for the sake and glory of Jesus Christ among all peoples.

So all of that to say this: The thought of moving overseas long-term scares the hell out of me because I know what it takes. However, living my life for myself and my own vain existence scares the hell out of me even more. I don't know exactly what God is doing in and through me right now at CBU, but I know that every future life decision I make will be filtered through a global lens: how does this job, or this education, or this or that impact the spreading of the gospel to the nations. I hope that God sends me back overseas, but I honestly don't know what His plans are for me. I am open to wherever God would have me serve. Please pray against the allurement of the things of this world, but that I would live as a true foreigner longing for my time to go home!

So here are some practical things of what I am doing to get my butt overseas until God directs me differently:
1. I am enrolling in the Global Studies program at Golden Gate in the fall. I will before pursuing a Masters in Intercultural Studies.
2. I recently gained some financial accountability and guidance to start paying down my credit card debt and eventually school loans. I don't want money to be a reason why I can't serve overseas.

I pray God allows me to go back and serve, but we will see what His plans are. I know his plans are to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future!

*I should clarify that I don't think having a husband, house, and dog is ungodly or wrong. It just can't be my life goal. I didn't want to offend anyone!