Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Quitter #EverydayMay


Today Jon Acuff’s new book Quitter came out. I am fascinated by his book because I think his book addresses 90% of our population, people who have been sucked into the American dream. Maybe most of us don’t have the car yet, or the house, or the guy or girl, so the American dream seems just so slightly out of reach. But the ugly step sister of the American dream is this idea of working primarily just to survive. They are somehow grossly related, all in the same family.

I have worked in collegiate ministry for the past 3 years, and one of the phrases that I always share with my recent graduates is “Welcome to the other side.” The reality is that the other side is scary. It’s not the responsibility of paying your bills and pursuing independence that is scary, but rather the responsibility of choice. Before college graduation, your life map was prepared for you. You just did school. You never questioned your worth or value. Because let’s face it, we all have to graduate high school and get a college degree, so it’s a carefree and joyous season in life.

After school, the trap of working to survive is silently waiting for us. It’s tragic actually. I get it. But I can claim without hesitation, we are created for something greater, for something more. God gathered together His church not to survive, but to be banners of salt and light to a world that needs truth.

This concept of pursuing your dream is only for those of us that are courageous at heart and willing to take risks based on faith. And by dream, I mean that BIG thing that we do for God that make us feel most alive and most satisfied. Piper refers to this as hedonism. However, our dream requires great amounts of obedience and equal amounts of sacrifice. Most people will think you are crazy and there is potential for the path to be lonely. But from experience, HE IS WORTH IT. The satisfaction that comes from serving the One we were Created makes it worth everything. Then the American dream becomes the idol that we lay at His feet in surrender.

Praying today that God gives us the heart for obedience and the strength and courage to make the first step of faith.

*I know that Quitter is on my reading list for the summer, is it on yours?

*If you were independently wealthy and you knew that you would be successful, “What courageous things would you pursue for the Kingdom?What is your dream job?

My $#@$%%#@#$ Paper #EverdayMay

Since January, I have been forced to pursue the academic exercise of writing a 35 page paper. This is the longest paper I have ever written. And compared to my roommate who just completed an over 100 page thesis, I minimized this dang thing. Compared to hers I felt it should just come together flawlessly.

Nope. I have STRUGGLED to physically write it. I have so many great thoughts but somehow just can't seem to organize my thoughts on paper or clearly define specifically what I want to share. I have started about 16 rough drafts and always keep re-copying and pasting. I am soo annoyed with the whole thing. I think because my topic is something that I am passionate about and that many people have requested to read, I am just trying too hard and not just letting it all flow naturally. STRUGGLICIOUS SALLY, that's me.

I've become that kids that everyone is annoyed with because I keep whining, tweeting, blogging, about how I am working on or editing this silly thing. I know everyone is thinking one of two things: #1 umm....serioulsy Divers, still working on it...pull it together and finish it or #2: I thought you finished that already, what are you on like paper 5 by now?

All this to say, I am just as sick of this paper as YOU ARE. And for some reason the compiling and completing of this paper is just coming SLOW, SLOW, and SLOW and proving to be a good test of my academic skill and perseverance.

On a positive note, it is due this Friday, Friday the 13th. ( I know, such an ominous day for it to be due). Once I turn it in, my professional academic career is complete and I will walk across the stage to get all hood 6 days later.

Sorry for my Rant. Pray I finish. #seriously.

Monday, May 09, 2011

The Church Pt 1 #EverdayMay

I was sixteen when I had my first opportunity to engage in my first overseas “mission” trip. This experience was the inception of God ruining me for the ordinary. I remember sitting in a small living room, fellowshipping with our Moldovan brothers and sisters in Christ through laughter, card games, and delicious Moldovan delicacies. The common unity that we shared in the name of Jesus gave me this overwhelming sense of “rightness” that I had never previously experienced. I remember specifically thinking, this is what heaven is going to be. It’s not people floating on clouds or enjoying big mansions on pearly streets (thank God), but rather experiencing the depth of joy in the common unity we have in the fellowship of Christ with people from every tribe, nation, and tongue. There are few moments in my life where I have felt so alive, and it was in this moment that God embedded in me an instant love for the global church. Thankfully, I have never been able to shake it.

Since this experience, I have had the opportunity to engage in the global church in Honduras, China, India, and Germany. The problem with the global church is that it has left me incredibly dissatisfied with the church of the West. I feel that we are always missing something, always too focused on ourselves, and I just don’t see the miracles, answered prayers, and lives changed that I have experienced in places like India.

As my two years of serving and participating in the church in India were coming to an end, I specifically remember emailing my college pastor and now soon to be pastor, Curtis Jones, asking him for advice on how to deal with the church in America. People say that with re-entry that attending church will be one of the hardest adjustments for returning to America. So I was trying to get a head of the curve by asking the questions ahead of time.

Curtis’ response was gracious and he reminded me that Christ loves the church. He gave His life for His bride. Good or bad, it’s His. Despite my opinion of the church in America, “we dance with the one who brought us to the dance.” Basically reminding me that I am who I am today because of the Church. So this really helped me try to keep everything in perspective once returning.

Since my return home almost four years ago, I have wrested, struggled, and struggled some more with the concept of church. It has left me dissatisfied, longing for something more than ordinary. I always feel like somehow we are missing what God really intended when he called us “His church.” I have seen the beauty of the Church in corners of the world, but very rarely in my own country. Why is this? Until recently, I didn’t really even know what the church in the 21st century should look like… “How do we deal with postmodernism?”, “seeker-friendly churches, are they right?”, “are massive expensive mega-buildings really necessary?”, “why is the emergent church really that bad?”, and “hymns vs. performance worship services, it is just preference?”. AHHH, I don’t know! All of these things just seem like futile attempts to be the “Church”, when really I just want to see God’s healing hand and His power at work among His people. I want to see new salvations, lives poured out, people sacrificing, people praying for BIG THINGS. If not, then what’s the purpose? Why do we even meet collectively? It wasn’t until last semester that God began to really make me finally deal with these questions, so I hope to blog a lot more about my journey and my thoughts…

So EverydayMay bloggers or friends that graciously love me enough to read my posts, What are your thoughts on the Church in the West? What do you think is a good church model? I want to provide a space for dialogue because this is such an important discussion for us as people of God. Have you had any experience with the global church? What are you frustrations or joys in the church? I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your thoughts. Or maybe something interesting to talk about on Sunday, when hopefully we all meet and greet.

I want to "BAN" Bruno Mars #EverydayMay

So during the 14 plus hours that I spent in my car this weekend, I heard this song come on the radio several times. And ladies and gentleman it's official, the *BAN has appeared in pop culture in Bruno Mars' new hit The Lazy Song.

( *Ban is the hybrid of a boy man. It's the age of man, but the maturity and interest of a boy. A boy stuck in a man body. You can refer to the preface of "Church Planter" by Darin Patrick for the full disclosure or this article.)

What happened to the guy talking about the girl whose smile makes everyone stop and stare for awhile?

And last week didn't you say you'd catch a grenade for me?
Or throw your hand on a blade for me?

Bruno Mars, this beautiful girl aint got nothin' on you.

Bruno, if you're attempting to get that beautiful girl from all over the world, then you best get up and get a job and get off that cocaine, son.

Then maybe I can love you, just the way you are.

***Disclaimer, this song is a crass...so press play with caution.



My awesome bestie Becka and another fellow everydaymay blogger helped me write this one. It provided for some late night giggles.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Celebration #everdaymay

I hope when I pass from this life to the next,
I was known as a woman who CELEBRATED.

Let's just be honest, life is hard.
It has lots of twist and turns,
disappointments and surprises.

There also times when it is surprisingly delightful
and there is no wrong, but only right.

When seasons end, when hard work is accomplished,
there is something about surviving and persevering.

So as life moves with its own ebb and flow
I want to be the one that celebrates.

One who celebrates not just the victories but the failures also.
I hope to be a woman that at the core understands
what it means to truly live, to truly be alive.

May I always be thankful to the God who gives abundance in life,
and to live a life that truly celebrates what it means to be created in the image of God.

After all, life is epic.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Creating Organizational Culture in the Missional Church #EverdayMay

This might be cheating #everdaymay peeps, but I have been writing all day and tweaking what I pasted below. And honestly, I have no writing left in me for tonight, my brain is fried. This is the script for my capstone presentation that I will be presenting (tomorrow or Saturday) in the morning. It is just an excerpt really of my 35 page paper that I will be completing in the following week. So, if the nerd in you wants to read it, then have a field day. If not, I won't judge you for skipping out. If you do read it, I would love to engage in the conversation by hearing your feedback. So comment away and fill my academic love tank.

An unprecedented number of new Protestant churches are currently being planted in North America. The proliferation of academic scholarship and interest in the study of church planting across denominations is rapidly changing the ecclesiological landscape in North America. This is evidenced by the sheer amount of church planting resources, which is greater than at any other time in history, whether those resources are books, funds, potential planters, or supporting churches. With this explosion of new churches and tools there is also fresh opportunity for the creative birth of church organization and the embedding or creating of a specific culture within church organizational structure. One of the advantages of church planting is that founding leaders have a unique opportunity to create a culture that reflects their basic assumptions about the mission and purpose of the church as laid out in the New Testament.

Any organizational leader or founder has his own vision or mission that reveals basic assumptions about the church. The word ‘assumption’ is important because what a leader assumes to be true is what the organization will ultimately reflect and what will result in the specific culture of the church. “This is just what we do here” is a phrase that reflects organizational culture. This concept of organizational culture is located within the social sciences discipline, specifically within the branch of organizational theory. Edward Schein, a well-known scholar in the field of organizational management, defined organizational culture as “a pattern of shared basic assumptions learned by a group as it solved its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, which has worked well enough to be considered valid, and therefore, to be taught to new members as the correct way to perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems” He goes on to say, that “culture is to a group what personality or character is to an individual.” The behavior that results is visible to all, but the forces underneath that cause certain kinds of behavior may not be as apparent.

Although the field of social science provides a practical lens through which to understand the church, it alone cannot be the only analysis. Missional scholar, Craig Van Gelder states that a unique characteristic of the church as an organizational structure is that it is both “holy and human.” The biblical or ecclesiological framework for this study is “the missional church”. This framework will become synonymous with leaders basic assumptions of the nature and function of the church.

The term missional was first coined in 1998 in the seminal work Missional Church, compiled by a team of inter-disciplinary academics across multiple denominations. Since this term was coined, it has carried with it a wide spectrum of implications and definitions. Missiologist Ed Stetzer claims that, “Missional is not synonymous with movements attempting to culturally contextualize Christianity, implement church growth, or engage in social action. The word missional can encompass all of the above, but it is not limited to any one of these.” Stetzer says “the word "missional" can be like an ecclesiological junk drawer. People sometimes use the word to justify whatever definition of the church that they prefer. And in doing so, it's loses its meaning.”

As a result, a group of missional practitioners came together recently to form a Missional Manifesto which clearly defines and states the basic principles of what it means to be missional. According to this missional manifesto, “To be missional is to understand the church as the people of a sending God, that are entrusted to participate in the world the same way He does—by committing to be His ambassadors. The calling is applicable to both the ambassador’s native culture and to cross-cultural ministry across the globe. This implies that every believer is “sent out” by the Spirit into a non-Christian culture to spend his or her life participating more fully in God’s mission. Missional is the perspective to see people as God does and to engage in the activity of reaching them. The church on mission is the church as God intended.”

The framework for the missional church is solid, simple, and strategic. However, it is not self-implementing, and requires the design of an organizational structure that works hand-in-hand with its theology in order to fully participate in God’s mission. This implementation of missional theology is accomplished through organizational culture. Creating a missional culture within a church starts with the pastor, founder, or church planter, making missional leadership the means for embedding culture in an organization. The unique function of leadership that distinguishes itself from management and administration is this concern for organizational culture. Leadership begins the culture creation process, and at times must also manage and sometimes change culture.

The first question to ask is how do church leaders actually get their message across? The simplest answer, but not complete answer, is that they do so through their own charisma. Schein defines this as “that mysterious ability to capture the subordinates’ attention and to communicate major assumptions and values in a vivid and clear manner.” Although charisma is an important mechanism of culture creation, it is not always a reliable mechanism for embedding or socializing members. There is a necessary need for there to be alternative tools or methods for leaders to create culture.

In Schein’s book, Organizational Culture and Leadership, he devotes a section to the creation of organization culture. Here he provides six primary directives for leaders with the primary purpose of creating culture. He follows these primary directives, with six secondary mechanisms that reinforce and articulate the primary tools. It is important to understand that both the primary and secondary mechanisms only function as tools for leaders to teach their organizations how to perceive, think, feel, and behave based on their own conscious and unconscious convictions. These culture inducing elements all interact together and tend to reinforce each other, but only if the leader’s own beliefs, values, and assumptions are consistent. Consistency therefore becomes vital for embedding culture. As culture is being developed, most of the socialization process is embedded in the organization’s normal working routines. It is NOT necessary for newcomers to attend special training and indoctrination sessions to learn important cultural assumptions within the church because they become quite evident through the daily behaviors of the leaders. They are implicit and learned more commonly through an undercurrent of culture rather than through direct, didactic methods.

As mentioned, above Edward Schein provides six specific primary directives for culture creation. The first is what leaders pay attention to, measure, and control on a regular basis; the second is how leaders react to critical incidents and organizational crises; the third is how leaders allocate resources; the fourth is the deliberate role modeling, teaching, and coaching; the fifth is how leaders allocate rewards and status; and last is how leaders select, promote, and excommunicate. I want to show, how taking culture creation within the study of organizational theory, and how this theory is applied to the missional organizational model. I will use the first embedding mechanism of what leaders pay attention to, measure and control on a regular basis, as my example for merging these frameworks.

This is the most powerful of the tools because what leaders believe to be most true will be the things that they systematically pay attention to. If a leader is aware of this process, then being systematic in paying attention to certain things become a powerful way of communicating a message, especially if leaders are completely consistent in their behavior. So how does this translate to the missional church and its leadership? Missional leaders will not measure the success of their church by church growth in terms of attendance numbers, but by the number of members who are being equipped and “sent out” to local communities and the world. They will understand that growth without missional engagement ultimately is reduced to the weekly warehousing and managing of organizational volunteers. Also, missional leaders pay attention to how closely their congregation demographically resembles the community in which it is planted. Missional leaders understand that its primary attention and focus is given to their own back yard and community. In summary, missional engagement of members will be the chief measurement and focus of missional leaders.

Along with these primary tools, Schein provides secondary mechanisms that serve to articulate and reinforce culture. These six secondary mechanism are as follows: the first is organizational design and structure; the second is organizational systems and procedures; the third is the rites and rituals of the organization; the fourth is the design of the physical space, facades, and building; the fifth is the stories about important events and people; and the last is the formal statements of philosophy, creeds, and charters. It is important to note that these are cultural reinforcement and NOT cultural creators. These are secondary because they work only if they are consistent with the primary mechanisms discussed previously in this presentation. However, when they are consistent, they begin to build organizational ideologies and as a result formalize much of what is informally learned at the onset. Another way to conceptualize these secondary tools is as cultural artifacts. These artifacts are highly visible but may be difficult to interpret without insider knowledge obtained from observing leaders’ actual behaviors.

An example of bringing these visible cultural artifacts into the missional framework is through organizational design and structure. Taking this concept into the missional church has direct implications for its organizational structure. The church has a rich organizational tradition of denominations that utilizes a specific lexicon and includes terms such as “laymen”, “pastor”, “clergy”, “priests”, “pastors”, “ministers”, and “missionary”. These words imply a distinct hierarchy and identity construction that qualifies what roles church members of churches can and cannot have. The missional leader deconstructs this idea of hierarchy and uses language that places everyone on the same level, eliminating the privileging associated with position. The missional leader will become a crafty words smith that is mindful of the lexical baggage that is associated with certain words, in order to accurately describe and articulate the individual’s role and qualification to engage in the mission of God. This deconstruction of hierarchy through language reminds members that there is no special training, title, or experience that equips people to live on mission. Rather the missional leader is relentless to identify all members as equipped and called to missional living through organizational design and structure.

In conclusion, Schein’s primary and secondary mechanisms allow a glimpse into what culture creation might look like within the missional church. All leaders will embed culture whether they intend to or not. This is why the field of social science and organizational theory is an effective and necessary lens for understanding the church as an organization. Church leaders across denominations must identify themselves as cultural architects. If missional leaders will choose to identify their churches as organizational structures and to see themselves as cultural architects, then they have the potential to create missional individuals at the structural and organizational level. This organizational structure then not only serves the church, but then also becomes a direct reflection of the nature of God, as a sending God, who has sent his church into the world, to accomplish His mission. There is too much at stake to ignore the power that missional leadership has to shape organizational culture in their churches.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

32 Years #EverydayMay

Today is my mom and dad's 32nd wedding anniversary! We live in a day and age when even the world understand that 32 years is something to celebrate and somewhat of a victory. I am one of those incredibly blessed daughters that have had the privilege of growing up in not only a functional home, but a Christian home. My parents always put their relationship with Christ first, then their marriage, and then their three daughters. The daily choices they made to love each other through their commitment have laid a strong legacy for me. I hope that one day, I will have the privilege of reading a post from my daughter celebrating thirty plus years of my own marriage! Thanks for the legacy.


To Daddy and Mommie,


*Yes I still call them Daddy and Mommie after 27 years- call us weird.

Thank you Daddy, for always kissing Mommie first thing when you walked in the door from work and for making gross kissing sounds to freak your daughters out. Thanks for always putting your relationship with her first. Thanks for modeling cuddling on the couch, holding hand, and taking your bride out on dates. Your love towards Mommie is etched in my memory always.


Thank you Mommie for being an example of Godly womanhood. Thanks for showing me what Godly submission looks like in marriage. Thanks for always loving Daddy and showing me how a wife takes care of her husband. Even in the little things, like making sure he matches because God knows he would be a fashion mistake without you. Thanks for accepting daddy through the multiple rolling of your eyes at the ridiculousness that is "Daddy."


Thanks to both of you for your commitment and your godly example of marriage. I love you both and am honored to have parents that chose to love and stay committed to each other. Here's to another thirty years!

Love your youngest baby girl and Half Pint,

Alicia



***I was going to post some fun wedding photos and engagement of them, BUT facebook won't let me save them. BOO.


Try to click here for a photo:

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Fear of Failure #EverdayMay

I have two biggest fears in life, the fear of failure and the fear of insignificance. Today I want to speak mostly about my fear of failure and how it manifests in my own personal life. I will say first of all, that the beautiful thing about being in your late twenties is that you get a lot better at knowing yourself. Life experiences make you self-aware and give you freedom to be comfortable in your own skin. Hence, I am blogging about my failures because I own them. They are mine and I am ok with that.

So my fear manifests itself in a type of perfectionism. Don't be fooled, I by no means am a perfectionist, but I find myself not wanting to engage in something unless I am good at it or if I feel there is any talent or ability to be more than mediocre. I hate being incompetent to do something. It wasn't until after college that I realized this truth about myself, but I realized that I missed out on opportunities in life because I wasn't willing to fail. I missed out on being a part of sports teams growing up. I was always afraid of failing the team by not being good enough and that I would essentially cause us to lose. I missed out hobbies. Oh man, I hate that question, “what hobbies do you have.” I hate trying some new hobby because it was just a reminder of how good I am not at it. I am also that kid that will let others do things first. I would say stuff like "no go ahead, you want to do that more than me." My fear sometimes causes me to disengage or to have missed opportunities.

Currently my fear manifests itself in the gym. Ha. I say this is jest mostly, but oh so true of my life. I am sooo out of shape right now. And as you know, getting back into shape takes a lot of work and building up. But to me the gym feels like a place of failure. I hate not being the 8 mile treadmill runner I once was or the person that dominates those machines. The reality is right now, I am the 30 minute elliptical chick that stumbles over the machines and usually has a quizzical look on her face. To me going to the gym is a walking banner of failure for all other awesome gymites that are in stellar shape to see my extra 20 lbs and flabby biceps and judge me. Because I know I am incompetent at the gym right now, it makes me avoid it like the plague. Great logic right?

I recently read a blog post by Jon Acuff, that described my place in life. Jon Acuff is freaking hilarious. If he were single I would hit that up. I hope I get to marry someone with such great wit and sarcasm. Anyways, in this post he talks about the secret to being funny. The main premise of his post is that sometimes you have to be unfunny before you get to be funny. Sometimes you have to fail. It is through the failure and putting yourself out there that eventually you obtain the one thing you were trying to achieve.

He goes on to say, "And we put down our dream because we’re unwilling to invest in the “un portion” of our adventure. The season where we will:

Write unfunny jokes

Take unamazing photos

Hold unspectacular promotions for our new store

Get unawesome traffic to our blogs.

But your ability to push through the “season of un” is often the only way to get where you’re really going.

So don’t view being “un” as failure on your part. Being unamazing sometimes is an investment you make in amazing. I promise."

I don’t know that I will ever lose my fear of failure. Is it weird that I don’t want to? But I think that my fear of failure is directly connected to my fear of insignificance. The beauty is that because I fear insignificance more than my fear of failure, I will always seek victory over my fear of failure because there is too much at stake. My fear of insignificance has caused me to be ruined for the ordinary things of life. My fear has in fact turned out to be the catalyst for living in India, moving to California, mentoring, and now moving to Texas. So I will keep those things that cripple me at times and throw them at the feet of Christ and just say “use me” even in my seasons of “un”. And in this surrendering I hope it qualifies me to hear the words, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Ok, I am going to go the gym now. Peace.

God Shape Musings #EverydayMay

Tonight, I had the much anticipated opportunity to start a 4-week study or process entitled "God Shape". One of the funnest things about tonight was seeing some of my #everydaymay blogging and twitter friends. Sadly, I didn't get a chance to connect with everyone, there's always next week. Sorry bunny trail complete, back to God Shape.

I will be honest and say the first time I heard the phrase "God Shape" I was slightly skeptical. It is one of those cheezy Christian culture phrases that I feel like you would only hear the cheezy DJ's on the fish use. But some of my favorite people, Dave, Cristin, and Sarah have spoken nothing but praises regarding this "process". After hearing their personal testimonies of how knowing their "God Shaped" has helped them better serve the body of Christ, I was game and did everything to weasel my way into the next study.

One thing you must know about me is that I LOVE personality assessment tests. I am particularly obsessed with Myers Briggs. So much so (shhh....don't tell anyone) but I once analyzed my previous boyfriend based on his Myers Briggs and definitely inquired on the special "love" tab to see if we were "compatible". I would like to think I have matured since then, only time will tell. :)

So finding your "God Shape" is like a personality test on some major steroids. It magically (it is still slightly abstract idea for the "s" in my myers briggs) integrates the results of your Myers Brings test, Strengths Finders test (According to this gem of a book), and your spiritual gifts test to help you understand your specific function in the body of Christ. I have taken all of these three test separately in the past, but never have been able to understand how they relate to each other.

Everyone's "God Shape" of course is unique and very specific to that person and helps you to sift through what is a general calling and what is a specific calling in your own life. It helps you be the best body part you can be in the body of Christ. This ultimately frees you to accomplish your specific role, which then gives you freedom to know what things to say yes to and what things to walk away from in ministry.

So, tonight I started a journey to find my specific "God Shape". And one of my favorite things about this process, is that I get to do it in community with a lot of people that I think ROCK in the body of Christ. All this to say, I am sure you will get to hear me process some of these personalities tests and my process or personal journey of finding my "God Shape" in the upcoming weeks.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Islam and the Death of OBL #EverdayMay

Today I have been processing the death of Osama Bin Ladin and what the implications of his death are and what exactly my emotional or intellectual response should be. As I was watching images of Pakistan on news stations, it made my heart long for the places in the Middle East and South Asia that I have had the privilege of traveling to. But most importantly, I thought about the people I met and the impact that 9/11 has had on their own lives regarding their religious identity. The events 9/11 not only had traumatic implications on the lives of Americans but also on the lives of Muslims worldwide and the world’s perception of what it means to be Muslim or to be a part of the Islamic faith.

This past summer, I got the opportunity to travel to the Middle East, specifically the country of Oman. My purpose to be in Oman was to collect ethnographic research of a specific people group, the Bedouin. Over these 5 weeks, I had the honor of interviewing and understanding who the Omani people are and learning more about their religion, and to them what it means to be Muslim.

Several times in our interviews, the Omani people would bring up 9/11 with the intent to separate themselves from OBL and his organization. There was a specific doctor that I had the opportunity to interview that actually told the story of where she was at the time of 9/11 and how it personally affected her. Below is her story. *The grammar is a little rough because this was just the transcription of our interview with her.

The day I left of Oman it was the events of September 11. From Oman I went to Cardif, to stud for school. [After arriving in Cardif], One Omani guy was also at my hotel, and he told me he was going out to buy something [and asked me] do you want to go out with me, and I said yes because I need to buy a phone card to tell my family that I have arrived. This Omani guy had a large beard, [and the store] was like 10 km of walking. I went to one shopping mall and there was a live showing of the second plane hitting the towers. It was silent and no sound and everyone was shocked and watching. I was thinking it was a movie. I didn't realize it was real. The guy I was with went to the upper floor to buy a video camera, he told me to come. And everyone was looking at me because I was wearing the scarf and everybody was looking at me and panicking. And we didn't know that something was happening. So we went back to the hostel and it was raining so he put the camera inside his jacket and closed it and it looked like he was carrying something. [Because he had a long beard and was carrying something in his jacket] everyone was thinking he was a terrorist. People are walking and looking at us on the street. I am very sad and I wonder what they think of us. We got on a bus. The minutes we got on the bus everyone got off the bus. Why have people done this? He said it is because we different with beard and wearing scarf. And I said no something is very different today. Everyone got off the bus and the driver was looking at us and we were just sitting. We went back to the hostel. The next day early, I saw the newspaper, because we didn't have the TV, and then we knew what happened.



This was just one story of many Muslims that we interviewed whose lives were interrupted based the appearance of a beard and a scarf. There were multiple times during interviews that our Muslims interviewees would bring up 9/11 to apologize. They were just as horrified at the events that took place. Many even said if they saw OBL they would kill him themselves.

The events of 9/11 and the past decade have given Muslims and Islam a misleading religious identity. It is sad that most people equate Islam with terrorism. So today, as I think of Osama’s death, I wonder how it will affect the Muslim community around the world. I am sure they are rejoicing because a deceptive and powerful leader that has spread mistruths about Islam has been finally given “justice”.

I write all this because I struggle with the stewardship of the stories and lives of the people I have met over a span of 16 countries. I don’t really have any great spiritual or intellectual insight beyond these words, but the stories of Muslims and their accounts of 9/11 haunt me. But I want to tell the story of Muslims who might not have a voice. I hope that if anything, this post reminds us that more people than the US suffered at the evil hand of OBL and his organization. Countless individuals in the Islamic community worldwide suffer with being misunderstood and affiliated with terrorism and murder.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

May is Finally Here! #everdaymay

May is finally here! I have been anticipating this joyous month since the fall of 2008 when I started my graduate career. These next few weeks, I am wrapping up last assignments and ultimately my graduate career. My life will soon be about whatever I want, in the sense that professors and syllabi will not be the things that inform me of what to read and write. There will be new freedom to explore, to engage, and to participate in new opportunities. This season, that I have been telling myself is “just a season,” is actually coming to an end! The time is here!

But with this, comes the reality that my time in California is also coming to an end. I will be heading to Texas to pursue full-time ministry with a new church plant. I always knew that California would just be a season. There is nothing keeping me here anymore. The things (job, school, and church) that God specifically brought me to California for have ended. But ultimately they were the exact things that God used to prepare me and equip me to go. So as I walk into the month of May, I bring a lot of emotions to the table. This month will be a month of not only celebrating great accomplishments, but also a month of acknowledging the closure of a great season.

So here’s to May and all the joys and emotions it brings! Also, I have committed to blog every day in May with some friends in my Sandals Church community. It was cleverly coined #everydaymay. So look forward to my rough thoughts and edits of the things God is doing in my heart and my life daily this month.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Capstone Papers

Next Friday, my graduate cohort of 11, will be presenting our final capstone papers. If you happen to be in the Bay Area on May 7, then feel free to come by and participate in our presentations.

After 2 years, I am proud of us and proud of what we have accomplished together. Below are the papers each member will be presenting. It might give you a small glimpse into what a Masters of Intercultural Studies actually is.

Addressing Global Shifts

Danielle Pester

Globalization of Voluntary Action: The Rise of the Non-State Actor


Jill Sornson

Establishing Principles for Integrative Design: Opportunities for Public-Interest Architecture


Deanne Carter

The Complexities of Visual Research in a Digital Age

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Institutional Influences on Society

Abbey Jones

Politics and Religion: Reexamining "Biblical" Approaches to Government


Rebekah Woodring

Driven by Islam: Government Control of Education and the Effects on Family


Greg Dickson

An Emerging Superpower: Changes from Within

Lindsay Bunker

"Have fewer children, live better lives" : The New Ideal Chinese Family

- - - -

The Church Engaging Culture

Alicia Divers

Organizational Culture of the Missional Church


Colby Brewer

"True religion is this..." : Addressing Ethical Barriers to Inter-country Adoption


Carmel Hall

Face to Face with Reality: The Evangelical Church's Response to the HIV AIDS Community


Trent Wilkins

Eclipsing the Cross: Individual and Social Dimensions of Muslim Background Believers

Saturday, April 23, 2011

God's Provision and Good Friday

God's PROVISION has been a consistent theme in my life over the last nine months. As most of you know, I lost my job in August which kind of threw me into a financial downward spiral and also into a bit of a loss of identity in ministry and God's plan.

God's first initial provision came in the form of unemployment insurance. Since August, His provision has come in little packages such as random large checks, checks coming that were some how more than they have should been, friends that let me borrow, etc...you name it and God did it on my behalf. Despite the fact that I make less than I actually owe in bills, I have always been able to pay my bills and live. Get this: somewhere in the midst of working 2 jobs that makes less than what I collect on unemployment, God has provided for me to pay off all my credit card debt and have money in my savings. What?! I know. God crazy provides. On top of all of this, I have a place to live in Houston that is practically free. Movement. People have always told me that when you have to trust God for finances it just works, that it doesn't make sense, but somehow He just provides. I never understood people that said this, now I do. The best part of His provision is that He does it in such a way that I can't help but acknowledge His hand in providing.

The fun part about God's provision is that it's not always monetary. In January, he provided me with this new direction to become church staff. His provision has come in the form of a new ministry and a new identity that I would not have been able to have unless the other was taken away. His provision has also been an evident sign of His movement in my life. Its the wind beneath my sail that I need to trust for the unknown.

In God's provision, I have wondered, "Why do I deserve this?". I mean I have been struggling to tithe, I haven't been fully trusting when I should, and I have been struggling to have the "perfect" walk with God. The spiritual giant in me was slain awhile ago. Why do I deserve this? I haven't always been a good steward of the little things. Why provide?

Then tonight in small group we were talking about what Christ accomplished on the cross and how that translates to us as a gift. The problem is that many days, I operate off the wrong kind of gospel. I think that my own self-righteousness grants me favor with God. That when I do this spiritually awesome thing that God can then somehow bless me in ways that blow my mind. Most days I feel like I need to purchase my salvation instead of basking in the reality that Christ already purchased my salvation and my good standing before Christ.

All this to say, I was released from the lie that God's provision for me is based on my own merit or my own self-righteousness, but rather out of his love and grace for me despite sin or poor stewardship. Grace is just one of those mysterious things that we can hope to grasp, but mostly seek after because of the beauty of the chase.

So tonight, as I write this, I am basking in the gift of the gospel in my life and what his death accomplished on my behalf.

PS. I don't say all of this to say how awesome God is blessing me, but rather to gush His praises and His ability to give good gifts to His children. I just couldn't keep silent any longer cause His provision has been tripping me up. To Him be the Glory.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

California Bucket List

So I only have a couple of months before I sadly peace out of Southern California. So I am in the process of making a California Bucket List to fulfill in the next couple of months....

Here it's what's on it:

1. Wine tasting in Santa Barbara
2. Joshua Tree
3. Meet/See a famous person
4. Yosemite
5. Redwoods
6. Walk the Golden Gate Bridge
7. Alcatrez


What else needs to be on my list and who wants to do these things with me?


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'm Moving to Texas!


"God has a global purpose for every detour in life."

In the summer of 2007, through consecutive events and multiple open doors, God made it glaringly clear that Riverside, California would be my new home and place of ministry after my 2 year stint in India. My transition to California living was easy and effortless thanks to knowing friends that were networked in all the right places. God birthed a couple of new passions and honed in on some skills during my time here in the last 3.5 years. These were a passion for college students and a passion for mobilizing others to gaining a heart for the lost across the globe. God used this time to grow me professionally with some awesome colleagues and mentors and to help contribute and understand the missions conversation in a university setting. My time in California has been a blessed blessed season and a season of reaping the joy of operating in ministry that is within my giftings. I have seriously LOVED every minute of it.

When my job ended at California in August, I was devastated and lost. I had moved to California to work at CBU and now that my ministry and reason for being in California was over, I began to pursue what God had for me next. I experienced about 5 months of silence and questions. The weight of choosing my next path was hanging over my head and quite honestly paralyzing me and stressing me out. I found great peace in the above quote, "God has a global purpose for every detour in life." I was actually just hoping that God did indeed have a plan, and he did!

In January, I received an email from my old college pastor Curtis Jones asking me to call him that day and that he had a few things to run by me. After hanging up with him on the phone, I was left with the a new decision to make. Him and his wife, Amanda, have decided to plant a church in Houston, Texas and they have asked me to come be a part of their team as their missions person. After a lot of prayer and consulting with people that love me here in my community, I have decided to accept the position!

What?
This means that I am officially moving to Houston, Texas to plant Bayou City Fellowship!! I think that my mother is most happy with my decision. I have not lived in Texas since 2005. I will be working bi-vocationally until the church is big enough then hopefully I will be able to come on as full-time staff. So it looks like I might have a future of Starbucks in Texas also, for a short time.

When?
I will be completing my first masters degree (Masters of Intercultural Studies) on May 19. So I plan to finish my degree and then enjoy my last summer in beautiful Southern California. I will make the road trip with my roomie Becka towards the end of July. Our church, Bayou City Fellowship, will debut to the public in the fall. I plan to transfer to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and finish my Masters of Theological Studies at their Houston campus.

Who?
Most people think that I have gone off the deep-end by leaving California to start a church-plant, especially because there are some crazy people out there. I was talking to a friend here in So Cal about how Curtis and Amanda was my old college pastor and she replied with, "Oh, so they're family." Yes. Curtis and Amanda are family. When I left for India, Curtis and Amanda looked me in the eyes and said, "we love you, we support you, and we always want you to be in the circle of people we know and love." And they have been faithful to a fault to their word through my journeys in India and California. They have been my biggest encouragers, supporters, and fans since I met them. They truly are family! I would be honored to be pastored under Curtis, but to be on the same team as him is an opportunity I was unwilling to pass up. Not to mention, Beth Moore will also be planting with us, in case you needed some credentials.

My Thoughts
I am super excited about what's next. However, I have no idea how to think or begin to say goodbye to California and all the people that have made my time here so awesome. It's always challenging to leave one really awesome season of life to pursue the unknown. I can't seem to conceptualize yet that pursuing one means I am abandoning the other. So I am going to try to live in my ignorance for as long as possible.

***I have a goal to find at least one Californian to take with me. Who is game?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Beauty of the Church Defined

I have been falling more and more in love with the church these days. She has always been a beautiful mystery to me, but enough of a mystery for me to keep my distance. Recently, I have had the opportunity to take a closer look at her and I am slowly falling in love.

Here is one beautiful definition:

"The church is a called out assembly whose public life is a sign, witness, foretaste, and instrument to which God is inviting all creation in Jesus Christ."

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Land of Inbetween

My good friend Amanda sent me this link where this jewel of wisdom was found.

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There's a place between here and there. A piece of ground in the middle of take-off and landing. A section of the unknown within beginning and ending. You probably find yourself there from time to time. It's the land known as Inbetween.

Inbetween is one of the most rugged places in life. You aren't fully here, and you aren't fully there. Your emotions and hopes are strewn across an endless list of possibilities. Door knobs of wood, brass, and silver line the path, but which will open? In the land of Inbetween, the paths are lined with sealed envelopes and foggy dreams. Excitement runs forward and fears hold back. And if you stay long enough, you feel the tremors of your soul.

The land of Inbetween is downright scary. It's a place of blind trust. It's where the pedals of faith meet the narrow road of fortitude and where movement is demanded though there's no place to go. The worst part of this land isn't the uncertainty or frustration that accompany it - it's that God likes it when you're there.

While He's no sadist, God loves the land of Inbetween. He loves what it does to us. He loves the humility and dependence it creates in our hearts, so He creates innumerable forks in life's road that swerve us into the land of Inbetween. The unknowns of job, marriage, children, and home are the signs of this uncertain land. At times, people are thrust into Inbetween by mishaps, accidents, sudden deaths, and even unexpected fortune. Some people visit so many times they begin to wonder if it's life. And they aren't far off.

So what will hold you steady when you walk through the terrain of Inbetween? A recognition that Inbetween is God's design. In one miraculous moment, the Creator of the universe placed you in the greatest Inbetween of all time - the place between the earthly creation and eternity. Life's smaller lunges forward and backward are merely postcard reminders that there's something greater than this place we're visiting.

If you're in your own land of Inbetween, remember that God was the original designer of this journey. You can get mad, scream, and even pout if you want. But it doesn't change the fact that you're merely passing through. Everything else is Inbetween. (from Deeper Walk, a Relevant Devotional Series)

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I too am in the Land of Inbetween these days. I find myself here more often then I like, but I am always thankful for what joy the previous land has brought me and the hope of what the next land will bring. What I do know is the God of the Land of Inbetween is sufficient and enough.

So for weeks like this week when the Land of Inbetween alsmost took me down, I depend and I trust fully and totally on the God who became the Land of Inbetween for me!

Friday, February 04, 2011

Middle Girls are Squirley

I survived my first week of teaching Middle School girls this week. I was able to meet about 40 new divas and was even more thankful that I NEVER have to return to those awkward two years of life. I of course pulled out my trendiest outfits in my closet to "impress", "woo", or "coerce" them into thinking that I was cool enough for them to listen to me and attend my class for the next semester.

These are some of my observation my time with Middle Schoolers this week...
1. Some are so very sweet and innocent....some are NOT.
2. Since when did Middle School girls cuss like sailors?
3. They think that people like Katie Perry has hung the moon. (great role model, eh) and their favorite songs are Teenage Dream. Also awesome (insert sarcasm).
4. I didn't come across a single girl that had married parents. Most were either divorced, fathers in jail, or multiple step family members.
5. Most of them are extremely insecure and just want to be loved.
6. Most of them have no idea what godly love looks like.
7. Most did NOT like Justin Bieber. I honestly expected a little more Bieber Fever.
8. Crushes and giggling was at it's peak!
9. Middle School with social media, facebook, and cell phones is a whole different ball game.

So those are my first observations on the surface. I love that I get to share with them my heart and my life over these next 16 weeks and hopefully be a role model to them. I hope they know that there is a God that loves them and that they don't have to strive in life to be wanted or just to be sexy. I hope these next few weeks will be about them finding their worth outside of boys or unrealistic cultural expectations.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

What I'm Up To These Days

This weekend officially commenced the START of my LAST semester before I graduate with my Masters of Intercultural Studies! I am not entirely sure what kind of frame of mind I was in when I decided to pursue a dual masters degree, work a full-time stressful job, and then travel to San Francisco in order to take those classes in the first place. There has been a lot of losses and gains in my graduate school and professional journey. So needless to say, graduating May 19th will be quite the victory! And I am getting excited for what God has dreamed up for me in my next season of life.

Recently, I took on a third job. I now facilitate a sex prevention program for middle school girls called Avenues in 5 different Middle Schools in Riverside with the YWCA. It is a new mission field for me and praying that I don't take these little impressionable lives for granite this semester.

So between working on weekends, teaching middle schoolers not to have sex, consulting for my home business, researching, reading, writing, and socializing I am trying to seek the Lord in the process... I am busy! I welcome any and all prayers this semester!

What I'm Reading These Days


If you are looking for a good read, I would recommend "Church Planter: The Man, the Message, The Mission." Currently my small group is reading this together weekly taking a few chapters at a time. As our hearts have been captured to reach the nations, through church planting, we are beginning to resource ourselves. This book has stripped away the fantasy and sexy appeal of a church plant and served us with some reality and also beginning to question our own qualifications and some areas to improve. For me personally it has been a time of evaluation and really giving me some tangible things to examine in my own life as I move forward in life. If you are even thinking or playing around with the idea of planting a church, I would HIGHLY recommend this book for you!

FYI...This book was specifically written to men. Sometimes when we are discussing I tease that this convicting passage wasn't written for me cause I am a female...kidding of course.

On another note, I will also be writing a 30 t0 35 page capstone paper to seal the deal on my master degree. So pretty much from this moment forward, I will be reading lots and lots for research purposes. So here's to being a book nerd this semester (oh and graduating...have I mentioned that)?