I'm Free

Tonight something glorious happened! I completed my last assignment for the semester which means that I am officially free from my grad school shackles for about 5 weeks! It's scary how free I feel now that I am no longer oppressed by papers, reading, and looming assignments.

My pastor today also gave a fantastic gospel presentation and reminded my of the freedom I have in Christ!

So thank you Jesus for the freedom I have in you and the small amount of school freedom I have for the next month!

ps- can you tell I am less busy based on the amounts of blogging I am doing???

YES!!!

South Asia Bound

I have some exciting news for my few readers out there that care....
I am hitting up South Asia again this summer May 25-June 15th.
This time, I get to take a team of Cal Baptist students- 7 to be exact.
I also get to lead with one my favorite students and a close friend from Sandals.
Could life get any better this summer?!

Blog world, I am going back home to the land I love so much!!
And this make my little Alicia heart so happy!

Roommate Christmas Photos

Last year on a spontaneous jaunt to Target, me and the roomies picked up the onesie footed pajamas pictured below. We thought they would be silly to take pictures in them and so we did. Soon after their debut on facebook much mockery occurred from some of our favorite people. But, we the roomies, didn't care because we LOOOVED them.

This year, we thought it would be fun to start a tradition of "Christmas Roomie Photos". We wanted this year's photos to be equally as ridiculous and cheezy. We decided to be Christmas presents. What we didn't take into account was how awesome our photographer was. And instead of being really ridiculous they turned out to be incredibly artsy and legit.

Yes, we are a bunch of Christmas presents among a bunch of Christmas trees!

Lottie Moon Christmas Offering

Some youth pastors wanted to teach their students about the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering

Fun so they made this little diddy. I am not gonna lie, I laughed my head off along with my roomie. Please enjoy and pass along if you want to educate people on good ol' Lottie Moon.

Tweet Cloud

Yes, I am a tweeter! There is this tweet cloud that generates the main words that I use when I tweet. So here is my cloud.

And as my roomie @shortyloh says... "i guess I really am in the clouds..."

Risky

Today, I did something I have never done before.
I invested money.
We will see how this works out.
It might be the stupidist or smartest thing I have done all year.

Time
Will
Tell.

Contentment STRUGGLE

I have been struggling with contentment in my singleness.
I have no idea what God is doing with my life, yet I know He is faithful and worthy of my trust.
I know that God is training me for the next step, and I daily take another step with blind faith.
But if I were to be completely honest, I can say that I am barely hanging on by a thread.
Some days I have random freak-out moments and wonder if I will be another one of those 30 year old single females faithfully serving the Lord.
Who is going to take care of me when I am older? Will I ever have kiddoes? Will I always be relocating and making new people in my city my family? Will God ever provide a family that is mine? I know God is faithful but man I am struggling with it.
This week, I found out the man I was dating just 8 short months is now engaged. I can't help but wish that was me and wondering why it didn't work out. It's weird to think that could've been me, but God wants me to be single right now. UGH! The only thing that has kept me sane this week is praying for them and their lives together. I know that God will be glorified through their relationship because of the man my ex-boyfriend is. And honestly, I am excited for them and what God has in store for their lives. However, I can't help but question why God didn't let it finally be my turn. Why? This has been my struggle for the past 8 months. It's not that I am struggling with being with a specific person, more just positionally regarding singleness.
So here I am, 26, single, and married to my grad programs and hoping for a glimpse of what is ahead, but in a lot of ways scared that what is ahead is a lonely path because of my obedience and commitment to the Lord.
I have seen God's hand always in the decisions and paths in my life and therefore, I put my faith in him completely. I mean really this is the only thing I can do. And to be completely honest, I have seen God's hand in my singleness in that He is faithful to answer my prayers to give and take-away. So I know He is at work despite the season of life. Some days it's just hard being that 26 year old independent female and that is what is wieghing heavy on my heart this evening that I can't concentrate to do my LARGE homework assignment that is due tomorrow.

God, I long for contentment that is only in YOU. I ask that my heart would be transformed to yours and that you would take my desires and replace them with yours because you are WORTHY.

Blessed

This past week of work was CRAZY, yet filled with so much joy. We delivered acceptance letters to over 400 students at CBU inviting them to take part in our 2010 overseas teams. There was such great excitement and energy in the treehouse. I was also reminded what a huge step of faith it is for many of our students to go on overseas teams. There was a girl who I watched walk down the hall after receiving her letter, walking slowly, taking deep breaths, and preparing herself for the news if she would be selected to serve on an International Service Projects team. It was a great personal reminder of what huge steps of faith students are taking to be obedient and to share their faith. And I wonder how radically God is going to shake this girls worldview of who He is and reveal to her the heart He has for the nations He created. Her world is never going to be the same after this summer. I am constantly being challenged with the philosophy of what I do and why I do it. I currently am dedicating my life to training, equipping, mobilizing, and sending students all over the globe on short-term missions teams. Many people argue that sending short-term teams are a waste of time and resources, and the work accomplished is not always effective. Tonight, I was reminded why it IS worth it. I sat with 5 students tonight who have committed to going overseas long-term within the next two years. It was because of their short-term experience that they are going again and choosing to live a life of missional living. That is the end goal of why I do what I do. I am starting my third year of working in mobilization and have had the privilege of seeing many students go and serve.
Just to name of few....

Aimee is serving currently in South Korea teaching English
Ryan is serving in Suriname as a j-man
Brie is serving in Belgium as a j-man
Stephanie is teaching English in China
Aimee is serving in Cambodia
Jenny is serving a semester in Chile
Krista is serving in West Africa
Charlie and Corrie are teaching English in the Middle East
Aaron is serving in the Middle East
A different Aaron served in South Korea as an English teacher and recently came back after getting married (see you can serve overseas and not be stuck single!)
Kimberlee is the process to serve as a j-man and several more like her in the pipeline!!!

I will never know what kind of eternal impact these students are having for the Kingdom, but I am just thankful that in God's graciousness towards me that He let me have a role in these students' lives. I am truly blessed to be a part of such a great work in the lives of college students!! GOD IS GOOD.

Thankful

Tonight, I backed into a truck in the parking-lot. Not my most glorious moment. I am fine but my car now has a little bit more character and personality then it had before. I walked away annoyed with myself, but oddly enough pretty thankful. I was thankful for two reasons. First for the body of Christ because my friend Dave came to the rescue. Dave is my California dad who bails me out or protects me when I need a male presence. Since I met him in India over three years ago, his family has always been a blessing to me in so many ways. I also found myself really thankful for the police. This semester, I have spent a lot of time studying different countries and their infrastructure and systems. And one of the most important thing needed for a countries success as a state is for the people to feel safe and the ability to force law. I know that the US police system can be corrupt; however, I was not at all afraid to call the police. I knew that they would not ask for a bribe, that they would deliver the necessary service, and that I would be dealt with in a respectable manner. This is not true for the majority of the world. Most of the world would do everything they could to not involve the police because they are corrupt, abuse their power, and instill fear in the people. So the fact that I was relieved to know that he called the police to deal with our situation is a unique privilege I hold as an American citizen. So I walked away thankful.

Top 3% of the World

My professor kept repeating over and over again this weekend, "You are in the the top 3% of the most educated people in the WORLD because you are pursuing your masters degree." Top 3%. She always said this with so much weight and responsibility. I can't quite wrap my mind around this statistic...still processing the implications this statistic has for my life.

Behold, I Make All Things New

I just completed my first graduate class for my Intercultural Studies degree called "Organizational Systems Of Society." It is one of my top favorite 3 classes that I have had thus far in my academic career. The class was about the reality of the world in which we live and how utterly screwed up (I wish i could insert much stronger language here) the world (especially Africa) really is. It is the most depressing class, without competition, I have ever taken. We grappled with realities of the world, that as an American are not my reality, such as: human trafficking, world hunger, child soldiers, failed states, the bottom billion, conflict, war, genocide, and many other things that plague the world. I am now informed and bothered by the horrific things happening in the world that seem to have no easy or hopeful solutions. The depressing fact is that there really aren't any quick-solutions for the human family. Peace is something that is sought after but very rarely ever found. My rose-colored glasses are removed and I am left with a lot of cynicism. However, after this class, I have a new longing for REDEMPTION that ONLY Jesus Christ can provide. All day today, I was plagued by the phrase in Revelation, "I have come to make all things new..." This is the hope that I cling to tonight, that one day Jesus Christ will RESTORE and REDEEM His creation! I have a deepened understanding of the immense beauty and necessity of restoration and redemption. Christ is the only Hope for the world. My hope can be found in no other, and for HIM I give my life, my time, and my devotion.

The passage below is BEAUTIFUL and gives me hope...

Revelation 21:1-8
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband; and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." And he who sat upon the throne said, "Behold I make all things new." Also he said, "Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the fountain of the water of life without payment. He who conquers shall have this heritage, and I will be his God and he shall be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death."

I hope to post more of my thoughts about this class in the upcoming weeks. I have been grappling with things such as war, the US' role in the world, and many other things that I hope to share as I begin to really process what I really did learn and take-away from this class.

Quote

I came across this quote in my church history book today. Loved it and want to share it.

To Diognetus,
"Christians are no different from the rest in their nationality, language or customs. ... They live in their own countries, but as sojourners. They fulfill all their duties as citizens, but they suffer as foreigners. They find their homeland wherever they are, but their homeland is not one particular place.... They are in the flesh, but do not live according to the flesh. They live on earth, but are citizens of heaven. They obey all laws, but they live at a level higher than that required by law. They love all, but all persecute them."
- To Diognetus 5.I-II.

Book Recommendation

If you have any interest in International Relations, I would recommend you read this little treasure. I am reading it for grad class and it has been soooo good!

Restore Me

Have you ever had relationships in your life that change? Things are no longer what they once were. The excitement and thrill and mystery of the relationship is gone. You didn't intend for the relationship to change it just happened. It is now difficult to understand where you fit into that relationship, but instead of fighting for it, you just give up and surrender to apathy. This is where I am with my walk with Christ. I miss the days of being in awe of my Savior, being absolutely enthralled by His beauty, and simply resting in my relationship with Him. When His mystery is what kept me seeking. I am in a season of life where God is present in my life but I am struggling to understand how he is at work in my everyday happenings. Some days I wonder if what I am doing is right, if what I do makes a difference, and questioning everything. I long for the joy of my salvation to be restored. For admiration and love to be found in my speech when speaking of my Savior. Jesus, I need a freshness of you to engulf my life. I want to be fully content with only your presence. Help me not to miss what you want to teach me or show me in the season of what seems to me that I am just existing without purpose. Prepare me for what's next and give me a heart of passion for your purposes, for the lost, and for your glory. Restore me.

Shocking News

I have some shocking news to share. I am giving up Starbucks. Yep. My pastor has been really challenging our congregation with stewardship and to be honest I suck at it. It is not something I have always struggled with, but right now my lack of stewardship and financial irresponsibility is sin. I am intentionally working to make some positive steps in right direction and setting up some good accountability. So I am going to work on being a good steward and it starts with the Starbucks fast. So if you see me with Starbucks, I give you permission to call me out.

New Joys

There are several things these days that are giving me great joy...
1. Sandals Church
2. My Costco membership
3. My small group at church
4. My sandals lunch crew: Samuel, Andrew, Sirleaf, Kyle, Stephen, Scarlet and the roomies.
5. Ester study
6. My graduate program- especially the noble nine.
7. Costello and Little E
8. The days where I get to leave my office and have conversations with CBU students

God thank that all good things come from YOU! Thanks for blessing me!

Running

Dear open road,

Thank you so much for the romantic first date of the "fall" season. It has been a long summer without you. You always create such a beautiful atmosphere among the mountains, citrus groves, and palm trees. The 2.5 mile run tonight was just the beginning of many more dates to come. Thank you open road for always welcoming me and never letting me down.

Your fellow runner,

Alicia

Esther

One of the things that I am most thankful in this season of my life is my roommates. Not just because because they are fun, or witty, or silly, or crazy, or awesome BUT because they love Jesus and strive to live lives that glorify God. They sharpen me. They teach me what a godly woman looks like through their actions and their desire for excellence. This year we want to do a much better job of encouraging each other and being accountable to each other to be in the Word. So we decided to all do the same study together! We decided to do the Ester 9-week study by Beth Moore! I am pretty excited about studying the same thing with the roomies and grow in depth and knowledge in the Word together!

Good-bye Summer & Reflections on East Asia

Somehow without me even knowing it or realizing it summer escaped. I start back in the treehouse (my office) bright and early Monday morning. Goodbye summer. Summertime is always really great for me because I get to step outside of my life for a couple of months and be reflective on my life. I evaluate what areas of my life need a little TLC, the things I put my time towards, and the people I need to be intentional with. I can honestly say that the spring semester and summer were some hard months for me personally (mostly because of my own selfishness). Somewhere along the way, I forgot that I was bought with a price and that I am a bond servant of Christ. I was living for myself and my own desires instead of for the glory of Christ. When Christ took things from and made it clear that His will was different than my own- instead of desiring obedience I desired my own will. I have spent this past spring semester off on the beaten path that I paved for myself which produced an apathetic lukewarm heart. I have hated who I have become.

BUT thankfully God is faithful when I am faithless! My time in East Asia was personally a really impactful time. I can't really say that I came away with this huge new insight, but rather the Holy Spirit spent three weeks reminding me of important foundational truths in my life. Truths that are foundational to who I am but were buried in apathy. This time I was finally at a place where I was ready to listen. He reminded me of my heart for obedience. The spring semester of my junior year of college God birthed in me a heart for obedience. Sometime this past semester this heart was lost in my own flesh and will. God also reminded me of my love for the Word. As a team we were able to study the books of Philippians and Colossians. We had some awesome times digging into the Word of God. There is nothing like some good meaty theology that makes my little Alicia heart get all fired up. My years in college at First Baptist Church Irving were foundational in forming in me a love for Scripture. However, I will confess that my study of the Word in the past several years has been almost non-existent. I am ashamed. I hate who I am because I am not in His word consistently. I will be changing that this semester- you can even ask me how that's going. The Holy Spirit also reminded me of my desire to be overseas. This past semester has been the first time that I have really struggled with desiring the "American dream". I want the husband, the house, and the kids that live close to their grandparents. The thought of roots and being settled sounds AMAZING. I longed this semester just to be ordinary. But this trip I was reminded, that I am "ruined for the ordinary". God has called me to a life of mobility and the extraordinary. Because of the experiences and the things I have seen I am accountable- to much is given much is expected. I have seen the faces of hopelessly lost people that are dying without the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is an unfinished task and God has called me to that task. It was refreshing to be around people in East Asia that are daily living their lives for the spread of the gospel because they too are ruined for the ordinary. My heart and desire to go to the nations has been intensified and given clearer focus.

All this to say... God is patient with me! Can I get an Amen? I am thankful for this summer and the sin that the Holy Spirit exposed in my own life and the new focus I have for this upcoming semester. My time in East Asia was refreshing and just what I needed. I know that God has been trying to teach me so many things this past semester and I am finally at a place where I am ready to listen and to be changed. Thankfully God never leaves us, but continues to pursue relationship with His children. This summer was much needed and I am sad to see it go, but also ready to put into practice all the things the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me.

God, I pray that this semester will be a semester of spiritual growth, fresh insight, and joy. Joy in serving the risen Savior in whom I am bond servant of Christ!! I pray that you would make me a woman of passion. That this passion would be an overflow of my love for Christ and for people. I pray that you would give me a desire of excellence in all things- my job, my school, and in my relationships. God please make me faithful. God intensify my heart for obedience and for Your purposes. I pray that this semester would be a semester that my love for your Word is rekindled and that Your Word would be active and real in my life. Please give me a love for your gospel and that I would be able to grasp the power of your gospel and it's ability to transform lives. Teach me how to make sharing the gospel a normal and common practice in my life. I pray that my life would be completely hidden in you. For You are worthy because You are righteous and Holy. You are worthy of ALL praise. Make me faithful.

Back in Cali

Just wanted to let you know I made it back from East Asia! Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and my team! It was truly a great trip and I hope that I will be able to blog about my trip in the upcoming weeks and let you know more specifics. I will be leaving for Glorietta, New Mexico for Collegiate Week with my staff on Sunday...the traveling never ends. But here are a few pictures to wet your appetite for more!