Contentment STRUGGLE

I have been struggling with contentment in my singleness.
I have no idea what God is doing with my life, yet I know He is faithful and worthy of my trust.
I know that God is training me for the next step, and I daily take another step with blind faith.
But if I were to be completely honest, I can say that I am barely hanging on by a thread.
Some days I have random freak-out moments and wonder if I will be another one of those 30 year old single females faithfully serving the Lord.
Who is going to take care of me when I am older? Will I ever have kiddoes? Will I always be relocating and making new people in my city my family? Will God ever provide a family that is mine? I know God is faithful but man I am struggling with it.
This week, I found out the man I was dating just 8 short months is now engaged. I can't help but wish that was me and wondering why it didn't work out. It's weird to think that could've been me, but God wants me to be single right now. UGH! The only thing that has kept me sane this week is praying for them and their lives together. I know that God will be glorified through their relationship because of the man my ex-boyfriend is. And honestly, I am excited for them and what God has in store for their lives. However, I can't help but question why God didn't let it finally be my turn. Why? This has been my struggle for the past 8 months. It's not that I am struggling with being with a specific person, more just positionally regarding singleness.
So here I am, 26, single, and married to my grad programs and hoping for a glimpse of what is ahead, but in a lot of ways scared that what is ahead is a lonely path because of my obedience and commitment to the Lord.
I have seen God's hand always in the decisions and paths in my life and therefore, I put my faith in him completely. I mean really this is the only thing I can do. And to be completely honest, I have seen God's hand in my singleness in that He is faithful to answer my prayers to give and take-away. So I know He is at work despite the season of life. Some days it's just hard being that 26 year old independent female and that is what is wieghing heavy on my heart this evening that I can't concentrate to do my LARGE homework assignment that is due tomorrow.

God, I long for contentment that is only in YOU. I ask that my heart would be transformed to yours and that you would take my desires and replace them with yours because you are WORTHY.